FAITH

When you believe without fear many doors will open for you.  There has been many times where I felt that I did not know what I was doing where I was going, and plain ole stressing about day-to-day expenses.  Since I have learned to stop stressing things have been better for me. BUT my ego and pride was hurting me with out me knowing it.. Since I let go of stress AND my Ego, Pride I have not been as sick and I am happier about living.  Stressing brings about many issues that you wouldn’t realize until after you have gone through that time.  I was raised to be very independent and at times I have to look at myself and shake my head because of the things I struggled with alone that I do not have to.  I firmly believe that when your ego and pride prevents you from asking for simple things the universe makes it harder for you.

I will give you a real example from my life:

Last month I had my rent, when to turn in my rent check and then left to go work out.  While drive I was hearing this loud noise coming from the left back side while my car was moving but would stop when I was not moving.  When I got to my friends house I got out to look at the back of my car my tire was flat with this biggggg ole piece of metal in my tire.. I immediately was like, geez if it is not one thing it is another.

But I did NOT stress, I just took it with stride.  I was calm and felt that I couldn’t not do anything about it then, so to just keep it moving and worked-out.  Even when I went to a mechanic, and they could not patch it because the hole was too big I remained calm. I was sent to another mechanic and they were able to help me. A patch was $15 and a used tired was $40. I got the used tire because that metal ripped my tire on the inside. When it came time to pay, I handed the mechanic one of my credit cards, that card was declined.  I then gave him another credit card that card was declined as well. I gave him another credit card and that card was declined.  I was like damn, three credit cards and none are going through… my thought was “well my rent check will bounce”.  I handed him my debit card. Then started stressing because I did not have any extra money to pay for this tire. After I left I called my apartment complex to see if they could hold my rent check because I was going to get paid on that coming Wednesday… They have a check scanner and had already scanned my rent check. I was trying to figure out where I could get $4 from. I went through my change and did not have it, looked through old purses and wallets and could not find four dollars..

Through out this whole process the thought of calling my family NEVER crossed my mind.  I cried myself to sleep that night,  woke up, and THEN thought about what family member I was going to call for help.  Didn’t want to call my brother because he had just helped me pay a minimum balance for one of the credit cards that was declined. I called one of my aunts and asked for $4.  My aunt was like why would you just ask for $4, and my response was that is all I need auntie.  We talked and I then sent her my bank information.

That one phone call stressed me out to the point where I was feeling like a failure for not having $4.  Simply because my ego and pride was too big to pick up the phone and call home, I also learned a valuable lesson.

The devil has a way of holding you back when you are not humble. Now I have been yelled and fussed at on numerous occasions about now calling on family when I need something.  When your pride is bigger than life because you don’t want to seem like “whatever” God will being you back to a reality that you don’t understand while you are going through whatever you are going through.

Plain and simple I was embarrassed.

 But WHY?

I felt that I should be at a place in my life where I should not have to call and ask for help or money.  Well…… truthfully I NEVER call and ask for help.

I just suffer.

I just starve.

Until my next payday…. Which is a little extreme.. I NOW know this..

Once I figured out that I was suffering and struggling as much as I was because of my ego and pride I vowed to stop.

Here are the steps I took (disclaimer, this is how I got over MY issues, this may not work for you but feel free to use them if you want):

  • Prayer. Once I prayed to God asking him to take my ego and pride from me I have been responding and reacting to situations differently.
  • Practice. I started practicing on how I would ask for help when I NEEDED said help.  I made up scenarios and practiced how I would react.
  • Reassurance real like events.  Something happened day after day and that is how I got my conformation that I needed to let that ego and pride go for good.

My faith is getting stronger daily and I know that there is reason behind this.  I am so thankful for the learning I am being provided.  When you are going through trials you may not understand at the time, but after those trials are done. YOU will see and understand.

What stress and struggle have you forced onto yourself? How did you overcome and stop bringing pain onto yourself?


Appreciation

NO ONE SAID THINGS WOULD BE EASY….

I want to THANK each and EVERY one of you for reading and commenting on my posts. That means so much to know that my words are indeed reaching someone to help them. When I first started blogging it was just for fun, but then when I started my business I felt that I needed to blog only about business stuff… but that did not work out because I was finding myself staring at the empty document. I know blog for myself and then others, because I want to make sure I am staying true to myself and what I want to express and talk about.  At first when I had low numbers for reading I thought that what I was saying was stupid and no one wanted to hear. But I quickly learned that QUALITY vs. QUANTITY is whats more important. I have applied that to my life in EVERY aspect.  Thank you for your continued support! 🙂


Meet Tiffany “The Budgetnista”

The Budgetnista Interview


Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche / On a plane and Newark, NJ

1.  What is your passion in life?

To live a purposeful, passionate life and to help others along the way.  Oh and traveling.

2.  What is your current job?

I’m self employed as a fun, financial literacy coach (heavy emphasis on the fun).

3.  Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission?

C.L.D. (Control, Lead, Develop) Financial Life / The Budgetnista

The mission and vision of my firm CLD /The Budgetnista is to teach all of my clients how to Live Richer (to purposely and passionately pursue your ideal life). Personal finance is one of the tools I use to achieve this goal.

4.  Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

Of course!

– Not being able to make enough money to support myself

– Lack of knowledge

– The opinion of others

– Making mistakes and their subsequent consequences.

– My unknown future

5.  Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes, I was insecure about my abilities. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of delivering on the promises rendered. I’ve since learn to under-promise and over-deliver.

6.  Describe your brand in one word.

Possible

7.  Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

Yes. I was fired from my very first speaking engagement because of a tweet. After being hired by the company to do a series of financial literacy seminars, I excitedly went on twitter and tweeted the details of the job in a reckless and arrogant way. I’m ashamed to say it but I tweeted:

 

“___________ company in _____, NJ just hired me to speak & I’m getting paid doctor rates!!”

 

I can laugh about it now, but they weren’t laughing. Someone in their corporate office found the tweet and faxed it to the location were I was to speak. I was immediately un-hired and told that I was a security risk and that I showed very poor judgment in bragging about the rate we agreed upon. Needless to say, I felt terrible.

The lessons I learned from that embarrassing experience are, the power of social media and the importance of humility.

8.  Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

My target consumers have chosen me, so no, I wouldn’t want to change them. Although I have customers from every demographic imaginable, the overwhelming majority are professional women of color ages 21-40.

9.  What inspires you?

Books

My motherland; Nigeria, Africa

My failures, my successes

10. Who inspires you?

My parents

Dream Catchers: My entrepreneur friends

My 4 sisters

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

There is NO plan B.

I was not built to be ordinary

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now?

Although I have a long way to go, I’m just were I should be. To me, success is just as much about the journey as it is the arrival. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the ride.

The only real change that I’d make right now, is that I’d really like an active mentor.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Live Richer: purposefully and passionately pursue your ideal life.

It doesn’t make sense to wait to live ideally “one day”.  Figure out how you can get your Happy now, and do it.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I read A LOT. A good book can be a reprieve to help me recharge, give me new ideas, and push me to stretch my abilities.

I also study successful people. Some well known and famous, but most are not.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

Yes, the biggest one was convincing clients to take a chance on an unknown brand, The Budgetnista. Finances are difficult enough to share, but especially with someone you don’t know.

Another obstacle was writing and self-publishing my book, The One Week Budget. I cried so many times!

When you self-publish you have to do EVERYTHING; write, get the cover and inside pages designed, market yourself, figure out printing and pricing, and pay for everything.

It was one of the hardest times in my life because I didn’t have a road map and no one I knew had done it before me so I stumbled around in the dark. It was also one of my most rewarding experiences and I now help coach other authors on how to navigate the process.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

On my site: http://thebudgetnista.biz/

 


Do YOU need HELP?

For Suicidal Thoughts or Actions?

Do you know someone who has made suicidal comments recently or in the past?

If so please take the time out to read this post and HELP…..

                                                                                                  Image Source

As someone who tried to commit suicide to end the pain I was going through at the time (I thank God daily that  I did not succeed), I always want to help others who are feeling suicidal. I work at a crisis call center for individuals who are suicidal or homicidal. I go out into the community to prevent suicides.  At times it does not always work.  They are too far depressed or was not able to get help sooner.

If you know someone who has said anything to you Suicidal please call the hotline number 1-800-273-8255 to get them some help even if they protest. Suicide is nothing to make light of..

If someone is coming to you saying “odd” things or acting “odd” it is usually a cry for help. Don’t let that cry go unheard. Some individuals don’t want to come out and say the words be it embarrassment or shame. I know that if my college roommate hadn’t walked in when she did, life would be different for me. I never went to my friends and said that I wanted to commit suicide… I was “all smiles and jokes” hurting and rotting on the inside…

If YOU reading this is going through hard times and you want to commit suicide to end the pain I BEG you to try to get help first and know that whatever you are going through right now will get better. You have to work at it and be patient. Please call that hotline number, it’s 24/7 so someone will be there to talk to you any time of the day.

Remember someone loves you. And that someone should start with YOU.

 

Here are some links that you can read to get familiar with suicide:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://healthmad.com/mental-health/myth-and-facts-about-suicide/

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

That Suicidal Hotline Number again is 1-800-273-8255


Ashly Nash: LGBTQ Love

Ashly, Louisiana

How old were you when you “came out”?

I was 18 years old.

How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex?

In the 10th grade I felt an attraction to the same sex

How did your family react?

My mom was the most disturbed by this discovery and she took it upon herself to out me to the rest of my family. To this day we hardly speak about it.

Do you label yourself?

No labels for me.

What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of?

One misconception I’d like to get rid of is the idea that lesbians have certain roles. Often when it is discovered  that a woman is a lesbian, the first question is, “ Who is the boy and who is the girl?” When in actuality the relationships don’t work that way.

How can you help the LGBTQ Youth?

I’d like to create an environment for the youth to feel comfortable being themselves.

Do you think that you were born gay?

I think that I was born just the way I was supposed to be. I don’t know if I was born gay but I do know that I prefer the same sex.

How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?

I think that it is completely wrong to base hatred for homosexuals on religion. God created all of us and he loves all of us equally. I do not believe that we serve a hateful God.

Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? No Children (yet!)
How do you make sure that you are being positive?

I start each day writing down 5 things I am grateful for each day.

Where can we find you on the web?

www.ashnash.tumblr.com

www.twitter.com/ashnash


Meet Nicole Clark

Name and Location: Nicole Clark, New York City

1. What is your passion in life? : My passion centers around educating, including, affirming, and empowering women of color (women who identify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous) to becoming change agents in their lives around sexual and reproductive health. I work to make sure that women of color have equal access to medically accurate throughout the spectrums of sexual and reproductive wellness.
2. What is your current job? : I currently work as a social worker at a national advocacy organization that serves people affected with and by HIV/AIDS and homelessness.

3. Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? : I recently began my consulting business called Nicole Clark Consulting, where my mission is “Infusing Passion & Creativity to Improve the Health and Lives of Women & Girls of Color”. I share my experiences and expertise on sexual health, reproductive justice, advocacy, images of women of color in the media, street harassment, HIV prevention, community organizing, gender-based violence, and self care.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business? : My initial fear was wondering if I had anything to add to this particular field of activism, followed by if I could ever fully get to the point where I can make a substantial living writing, consulting, and speaking on these issues.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business? : As I got more into my blogging and started back conducting workshops and speaking engagements (I took some time off between 2008-2010 to attend graduate school for social work), I started to worry more about my personal brand and how I can strategically set myself apart from others in order to generate better opportunities.

6. Describe your brand in one word. : Empowerment

7. Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them? : I haven’t been in my consulting business for very long, so I don’t have any marked failures yet. I guess one ongoing problem I have is over-extending myself and taking on too many opportunities, which has led to burn-out on occasion. Also, trying to balance my 9-5 with my consulting business is always a challenge.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?: My target audience is women and girls who indentify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous.

9. Who inspires you? : I often get inspiration from women of color who have decided to live life on their own terms. On my blog, I’ve created the Women Making Moves! series, where I interview women of color in various fields who have found passion in their lives and work. I initially began the series as a way to encourage myself, but I’ve found from many of my readers that the interview series is a favorite of theirs as well.

10. What is always at the back of your mind? : I’m always thinking of how I can be more effective in my blogging style and how I can interact with my social media followers to increase their trust in me. I also think about my family a lot. I’m originally from Georgia and the majority of my family is still in the south. While I’m grateful for the chosen family I’ve developed in New York City, there’s nothing like being with the people who make you…you. I try to go home as often as I can.

11. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? : The biggest change I am making in my career is getting everything in place to fully transition into full-time consulting.

12. What advice do you have for others? : One biggest piece of advice I have comes from a song called “Open Your Eyes (You Can Fly)” by Vanessa Williams and Me’shell Ndegeocello . The lyrics are “You can’t wait for others to applaud what you do. So just congratulate yourself and start something new.” Receiving recognition is always nice, but when we rely heavily on it to the point where it affects our sense of self, it can become problematic. We should also be striving to grow better and to strive higher, and to help others along the way.

13. How do you motivate yourself?: I motivate myself by surrounding myself with friends and family that love me for me. I also create communities that are reflective of who I am as a personal and professional.. Since I am a social worker, activist, and college/graduate school graduate, I try to keep strong ties with people I’ve met that fall into these communities for me.

14. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?: The biggest obstacle I’ve ever faced (and continue to face) are the self-defeating thoughts and negative self-talk. Perception is reality, and how you feel about yourself ultimately manifest itself into your surroundings, how you interact with others, and how they respond to you.

15. Where can we find you on the web? You can find me at my website, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.