FREE Ebook “Hey YOU”

I have been toying with the idea of writing E-Books for the past year, and I am please to announce that my first one is here. “HEY YOU”…… It’s a spin off of my journals that I made for the attendees who came to my event last August…. If you want a Copy email me and I will send to you with in 10 hours (I say with in ten hours because I am not able to have my phone at work and won’t get my emails until I get off at 8p)

Email to get my free e-book:  javaniamwebb@gmail.com

 

 


Five Love Languages: Score

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Picture taken from screen shot on my iPad and this book was purchased with my own money.

Two weeks ago I blogged that I was currently reading ‘The Five Love Languages’ Single Edition and everyone I come across I have told them about this book because I feel that you need to know who you fully are to completely experience life. I wish I would have known about this book sooner because my relationships family, platonic and romantic could have been better. I now know!

I told you all that I would come back and reveal my Primary and Secondary Love Language. The Five different Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

I immediately knew mine were Physical Touch and Quality Time.

My scores are:
Quality Time 11
Physical Touch 10
Acts of Service 5
Word of Affirmation 3
Receiving Gifts 1

The highest number you can have is 12 for one category. So that’s pretty powerful to me. I was never able to explain to my friends and past relationships why I needed so much time and to be close. I now know, of course my friends are used to that now because that’s just me…… But moving forward for romantic relationships, there will be issues if that my special person doesn’t try or learn to OR chooses not to speak my love language. and if it’s the latter that means they aren’t the one for me… Period. This knowledge of love language goes both ways also, you (I) need to learn the languages of our friends, co-workers and loved ones! I am actually going to figure out my co-workers because we have to be together for eight hours and it’s best if we make it worth while…

Can you share in the comment section your Love Language if you know it and if you don’t know it I suggest getting this copy if you’re single or picking up the relationship copy if married or in a serious relationship… Thank me later! 🙂


Five Love Lanuages…

SINGLES EDITION

(this photo is not the singles edition cover, photo is taken from personal IPhone and the book was paid for by me)

My sis is reading the edition that Gary Chapman intended to be for women and men who are married or engaged to get married..but it seems that single people wanted something to help them in the love department as welllllll…….. When she advised me to get the copy I immediately took offense because I thought she had jokes.. But I am actually glad that she told me about it. I just started this book and I am loving reading every minute of it.. (This is the first book that I am reading on my IPad and it’s not bad)

The premise of the book is for you to fully know your love language before you can know someone else’s love language and that it is okay if your languages do not match, but you have to be willing to fulfill your partners language. Of course the examples are for heterosexual couples, but I do not think that this book excludes homosexual couples. (this is just my opinion, if you know of a book that talks about love and it’s strictly for homosexuals let me know in the comments)

I haven’t gotten to the part where he explains the different languages of love but I am looking forward to finding that out! I will update when I figure out.. 🙂


Complete Review “No Secrets, No Lies”

No Secrets No Lies: How Black Families Can Health from Sexual Abuse  Author Robin D. Stone

I recently did a post about this book and I was half-way through reading, you can read the beginning here.

I have had this in my draft for the past two weeks because I was afraid. I would be lying if I said that others words didn’t hurt me. THEY DO.  I do the best I can at protecting my mind but sometimes the negativity gets through.

This book was and IS GREAT for anyone but especially someone who was molested, raped, or assaulted as a child .

This book is why I changed my research paper topic because I want to read more about how others have dealt with being sexually assaulted, raped, molested as well.  As I read this book I saw that I had a lot in common with the respondents and even the writer Robin D. Stone. She went through interviews and even talked to perpetrators who committed these crimes against children at the time.  I also, was a child when I was molested by three different people and I saw myself in just about every woman AND one of the men she talked to.

If you are someone who was molested, raped, or assaulted as a child or adult I suggest you going to the library to read this book because she goes into detail on how to get healed.  I never knew that some people use dance or art as a way to heal.  I have only known about therapy and writing which are the two methods I have been using. I want to start using dancing as a way to heal also.  When you are a young child and you are being touched you like the feeling but in the back of your mind you know you shouldn’t…you start to feel dirty and grow up thinking that you and your body is dirty.  I thought this as well.

I am just starting to REALLY loving my body and what I see. I used to hate looking in the mirror because then I would imagine what the “men” used to do to me and then I would start crying and then I would get pissed. Make no mistake..I have always loved looking in the mirror but I avoided my eyes, I would not look into my eyes because I was afraid of what I would see.

Stone has eight chapters… breaks the chapters down on how you can help yourself as well and how others can help family members. Remember though, you are responsible for your own health. She has provided plenty of resources for and how to get healed.  She gives tips on how to forgive and you know that you must forgive for YOURSELF not the other person. The person that molested, raped, or assaulted you most likely is not thinking about you…but you are worrying yourself to death over what happened. That is not true healing, it’s putting a band-aid on a wound that will soon come off once it gets old.

If you really want to heal please find someone to help you..

Some types of healing include dance, drawing, group therapy, individual therapy, family therapy, music, writing, praying, spiritual counselors and etc. One of the statements that she said that is sticking with me is how you go about choosing who you want to help you.  If you do not feel a connection with someone end the services and keep it moving.

It is no secret that I have been in and out of therapy my whole life, but NOW I am truly healing because the spiritual counselor who is helping me heal happens to be a perfect match for myself and what I need at the moment.  She does not sit across from me judging or try to pretend that she knows exactly how I felt during the lows of my life.  She uses different methods that requires me to REALLY think and be ready for healing.  She would give me assignments and I would be mad at the time but then I would be hugging and thanking her the next time I saw her.  So if you too have been affected in any way and you are still holding on to the hurt…..

PLEASE I beg of you.

GET HELP..

When you go through life holding on to the past you are holding and keeping yourself in the past.  I no longer choose to hold myself back from the blessings that I will receive. I face my problems head on. I am no longer embarrassed by having to get help or advice from others. We could all stand for some one on one healing action.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment on how you decide to heal.  Until next time.