Embracing Who You TRULY Are

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

When you look into your eyes, do you like what you see?

When someone else looks at you, do you get uncomfortable?

When you look at someone else, do you wish you looked like them?

When will YOU be enough for YOU?

Remember the old school saying: “You must love yourself before someone else can love you”

This saying should always be at the fore front of your life because it is true.

  • I remember at 7 years old at school being made fun of because I was in the bathroom putting on a pad and my classmates looking under and over the stalls laughing at pointing at me.
  • I remember being 9 years old being called a pizza face because I had severe acne and one of my “close friends” being the main one to start that laughter.
  • I remember being 13 years old sensing something was different about me because I was sitting next to my best friend and feeling a sensation in my body that I knew would get me in trouble.
  • I remember being 17 years old sneaking my high school boyfriend in the house while my grandmother was at work, learning the art of faking a orgasm, and being into men.
  • I also remember the pain I felt on the inside.. the lie I was creating would haunt me until I became strong enough to face the adversity that many LGBT members face..
  • I remember crying myself to sleep.
  • I remember hating the way I looked.

I also remember going to the mirror the same night that I tried to commit suicide and feeling a calm flow over me. I believe it was God talking to me saying that I was enough.

I was beautiful.

I was not left over trash.

I deserved to be me in the light and in the dark.

 

At 19 years old a true transformation took over for me. I started thinking positive. I started saying positive things to myself. I started dealing with childhood issues and the fact that I was lying to myself denying the attraction that I had to women. I got back to volunteering, and I prepared myself for what was to come.

Empowering is something that I do through my story.

You never know what someone is going through or what someone one has gone though previously.   Do your best to keep a positive flow through out your life. Once negative starts to flow, it will be in charge before you know it. Don’t let the negative things; people, and places take control.

End friendships if you have to.. You must be in control of what you want to deal will. If you have a negative perception of yourself, figure out why. You were born to be you, and no one else.

 

So again…

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

When you look into your eyes, do you like what you see?

When someone else looks at you, do you get uncomfortable?

When you look at someone else, do you wish you looked like them?

When will YOU be enough for YOU?

 


One Year Ago..

This day last year I was hosting my first event…

I was a nervous wreck, and nothing went as I had planned.

But….I learned a very important lesson that day…

SHIT HAPPENS..

Even when you have your whole day planned.

AND IT’S OKAY. It’s how you react to things not going the way planned.

I spent my savings to host this event and sold one ticket. I still have that invoice posted on my cork board because that one ticket meant alot to me. More than the person who bought it knows. I know what my passion is and I have to diligently follow through. I have not had another event simply because I have not had the extra money to do so.

However, I have come up with some ways to have events by saving money and I am definitely working on things for 2013. The rest of 2012 will be spent with me getting all of my goals written down and planned for the next year so I can start off the right way. Being an entrepreneur is all about learning and making mistakes but not continuing to make the same mistakes. I know that I have made alot of mistakes, mostly monetary which is why I am okay with taking my time now. Rushing will get me nowhere, and I have proof!!

Where were you this time last year and what was going on in your life?

 

One step down memory lane:


FREE Ebook “Hey YOU”

I have been toying with the idea of writing E-Books for the past year, and I am please to announce that my first one is here. “HEY YOU”…… It’s a spin off of my journals that I made for the attendees who came to my event last August…. If you want a Copy email me and I will send to you with in 10 hours (I say with in ten hours because I am not able to have my phone at work and won’t get my emails until I get off at 8p)

Email to get my free e-book:  javaniamwebb@gmail.com

 

 


LoveHer

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Last weekend was Enjoi Enter Tainment’s LoveHer weekend which was a series of days focusing on helping Lesbian women becoming better for themselves and partners.. I represented #teamsingle for the weekend..

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Friday night started with: Speed Dating, I took part and it was fun. It was something to do and was a step outside of the box for me.. When you are a femme lesbian, it’s hard for others to tell that you are ‘family’ unless you’re in the ‘scene’ or know alot of other lesbians and that I am not.. Lol So I was able to mingle and flirt which is always a plus for me.. 🙂 I met some women that automatically had me giving side eyes…. With pictures to prove I desperately need to work on my facial expressions… And there were also some women who gave me butterflies… I think WE know which one is better for me!

Saturday during the day: Safe Sex/Healthy Relationship Seminars and I facilitated the Healthy Relationship seminar and got to meet Dread aka Miller from Between Women TV…

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This was a different experience because romantic relationships are hard for me but I was again able to step outside of my comfort zone and do something that was foreign to me and was successful. I also learned a lot about sex that I can truly say I didn’t know and thought I did.. That was an eye opening for me and a lot of other women who were there to participate as well!

Saturday Night: Dice from LaLa Full Court was in the building at the Skate King roller rink I however did not go… Simply because I would have been acting foolish trying to kidnap Dice.. (I kid I kid) wellllll not really!

Sunday Night: LoveHer ended with a bang…. Poetry Night was the closing of a fun filled weekend the name of the night was ‘She is Poetry’ ….. That name has a ring to me, I enjoyed just sitting and listening to words that were being subconsciously spoken to me..
At She is Poetry:

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Enjoi Enter Tainment is known for throwing and putting on parties, but I must say that they did good programming and uplifting women in a positive way!!

Here are some other photos from Saturday…

Check out Enjoi Enter Tainment out on Facebook…

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CubeClasses

Danyelle Little of  “The Cubicle Chick” is now having classes for those who need a little help on the direction of their business, blog, and life… They will be called “CubeClasses” and I just LOVE that name. She will be having the first two classes next month.

Thurs., May 17th, 2012- 6-8pm So I Have a Blog. Now What? Learn Six Crucial Steps You Need to Take to Create Traffic & Make Money on Your Blog.

Sat., May 19th, 2012 9-11am ‘Are You Afraid to Launch (Get that Business Off the Ground’).

I will be attending the one on Saturday because deep down I am afraid to launch… Fear must leave my life, mind, and vocabulary… Danyelle is a force that cannot be stopped!!!!  She’s fabulous and a wife with children so we young-ins who do not have a family per-say yet have not one excuse as to why we are steady talking about our dreams but not acting on them.

Check out her CubeClasses website for more information!!

 


Guest Post

Hey loves, I did a post on DMVculture yesterday about my life. It’s short and sweet to the point. I’ve never done a post so raw and real. I just let my hands do the typing and what came out is what I left. Please support and head to the site and not only read my post but other posts there. There is alot of information on the site…

The Link:

http://dmvculture.com/2012/embracing-who-you-are-by-javania-m-webb/

 


LGBTQ LOVE: Dawn Johnson

Name and Location Dawn Johnson – Los Angeles, California

  • How old were you when you “came out”? I was 31 when I came out publicly, 20 when I initially told my dad
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? I was 15 years old
  • How did your family react? My family has been very supportive of my lifestyle choices.
  • Do you label yourself? I label myself in private but not in public i.e., I know I’m an Aggressive Femme and not a stud or a regular femme.
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? The misconception I would want to get rid of is that all people in the LGBTQ are dysfunctional due to being abused or hurt by the opposite sex.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? I think we can help the LGBTQ Youth by being examples of what healthy LGBTQ adults look like.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? I think I was born with the attraction to women, however was raised to believe that I should be with a man.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I feel there are people who bash homosexuality from the religious sector who are only doing so because they are hiding their fear of being “outed”.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I’m pregnant and plan to teach my children about all aspects of love so they can understand that there is no right and wrong if the love is real and pure.
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? I choose my experiences and teach from the lessons I learn.

LGBT LOVE: Danielle Pope


  • Name and Location – My name is Danielle Pope, I am 23 years old and a current resident of Virginia Beach, VA
  • How old were you when you “came out”? – I didn’t officially come out to my family until my junior year in high school, so I was 16/17 years old…Even though my attraction was exceedingly obvious at such a youthful age.
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? – At only 8 years old
  • How did your family react? – Oh Man! You would have thought the world was going to end. I have had my family tell me I am doomed to hell. My father had a strong disgust with my sexuality …  and still does till this very day. My grandparents suggest I seek a psychiatrist for my “issue”. My newly reformed mother doesn’t understand it … but at least she accepts it. As far as my sexuality and my family goes, I can only really confide in my sisters and my younger brother-they love me for me.
  • Do you label yourself? – Yes, I label myself confidently as a lesbian. No, I don’t believe that labels make the person because there are deeper treasures to me than just to be defined and enclosed to my sexuality. I do believe that in whatever you are or whatever you do … HAVE CONFIDENCE and have NO shame!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? – That gay people are supposed to look a certain way. It makes me cringe when people comment and infamously say “you’re too pretty to be gay”.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? – By being an inspiration by sharing my stories and my struggles. Showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? – Yes, he made me this way and it was without mistake.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing? – So many of these so-called and self titled Christians shed hate, judgment and cruelty on our lifestyles. I don’t understand how a place that is suppose to accept and love anyone can be so cold hearted and evil? It is sad, because we are children of God. Religion is a touchy topic…many feel that if they aren’t living right or up to specific standards that they are automatically sentenced to hell. What makes these people so much better than anyone in the LGBTQ community and gives anyone the right to ridicule our lives? God is the only judge.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? – No, I don’t have any children. I plan on having some in the future!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? – I find joy in the little things life has to offer. As long as I have peace within myself, living life to the best of its ability, putting a smile on the faces of people that I love and uplifting others … then there’s no question in my positivity.
  • Where can we find you on the web? — You can find me along with my written articles on DMVculture.com (please check it out and support). Also, on Facebook- Danielle Pope Twitter-@culturalFEM and Instagram-@yourfavoritelesbian

 


Meet Tiffany “The Budgetnista”

The Budgetnista Interview


Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche / On a plane and Newark, NJ

1.  What is your passion in life?

To live a purposeful, passionate life and to help others along the way.  Oh and traveling.

2.  What is your current job?

I’m self employed as a fun, financial literacy coach (heavy emphasis on the fun).

3.  Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission?

C.L.D. (Control, Lead, Develop) Financial Life / The Budgetnista

The mission and vision of my firm CLD /The Budgetnista is to teach all of my clients how to Live Richer (to purposely and passionately pursue your ideal life). Personal finance is one of the tools I use to achieve this goal.

4.  Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

Of course!

– Not being able to make enough money to support myself

– Lack of knowledge

– The opinion of others

– Making mistakes and their subsequent consequences.

– My unknown future

5.  Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes, I was insecure about my abilities. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of delivering on the promises rendered. I’ve since learn to under-promise and over-deliver.

6.  Describe your brand in one word.

Possible

7.  Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

Yes. I was fired from my very first speaking engagement because of a tweet. After being hired by the company to do a series of financial literacy seminars, I excitedly went on twitter and tweeted the details of the job in a reckless and arrogant way. I’m ashamed to say it but I tweeted:

 

“___________ company in _____, NJ just hired me to speak & I’m getting paid doctor rates!!”

 

I can laugh about it now, but they weren’t laughing. Someone in their corporate office found the tweet and faxed it to the location were I was to speak. I was immediately un-hired and told that I was a security risk and that I showed very poor judgment in bragging about the rate we agreed upon. Needless to say, I felt terrible.

The lessons I learned from that embarrassing experience are, the power of social media and the importance of humility.

8.  Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

My target consumers have chosen me, so no, I wouldn’t want to change them. Although I have customers from every demographic imaginable, the overwhelming majority are professional women of color ages 21-40.

9.  What inspires you?

Books

My motherland; Nigeria, Africa

My failures, my successes

10. Who inspires you?

My parents

Dream Catchers: My entrepreneur friends

My 4 sisters

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

There is NO plan B.

I was not built to be ordinary

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now?

Although I have a long way to go, I’m just were I should be. To me, success is just as much about the journey as it is the arrival. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the ride.

The only real change that I’d make right now, is that I’d really like an active mentor.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Live Richer: purposefully and passionately pursue your ideal life.

It doesn’t make sense to wait to live ideally “one day”.  Figure out how you can get your Happy now, and do it.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I read A LOT. A good book can be a reprieve to help me recharge, give me new ideas, and push me to stretch my abilities.

I also study successful people. Some well known and famous, but most are not.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

Yes, the biggest one was convincing clients to take a chance on an unknown brand, The Budgetnista. Finances are difficult enough to share, but especially with someone you don’t know.

Another obstacle was writing and self-publishing my book, The One Week Budget. I cried so many times!

When you self-publish you have to do EVERYTHING; write, get the cover and inside pages designed, market yourself, figure out printing and pricing, and pay for everything.

It was one of the hardest times in my life because I didn’t have a road map and no one I knew had done it before me so I stumbled around in the dark. It was also one of my most rewarding experiences and I now help coach other authors on how to navigate the process.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

On my site: http://thebudgetnista.biz/

 


Ashly Nash: LGBTQ Love

Ashly, Louisiana

How old were you when you “came out”?

I was 18 years old.

How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex?

In the 10th grade I felt an attraction to the same sex

How did your family react?

My mom was the most disturbed by this discovery and she took it upon herself to out me to the rest of my family. To this day we hardly speak about it.

Do you label yourself?

No labels for me.

What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of?

One misconception I’d like to get rid of is the idea that lesbians have certain roles. Often when it is discovered  that a woman is a lesbian, the first question is, “ Who is the boy and who is the girl?” When in actuality the relationships don’t work that way.

How can you help the LGBTQ Youth?

I’d like to create an environment for the youth to feel comfortable being themselves.

Do you think that you were born gay?

I think that I was born just the way I was supposed to be. I don’t know if I was born gay but I do know that I prefer the same sex.

How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?

I think that it is completely wrong to base hatred for homosexuals on religion. God created all of us and he loves all of us equally. I do not believe that we serve a hateful God.

Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? No Children (yet!)
How do you make sure that you are being positive?

I start each day writing down 5 things I am grateful for each day.

Where can we find you on the web?

www.ashnash.tumblr.com

www.twitter.com/ashnash