Memior: Mother

I have been working on writing a book about my childhood, being molested and working through the aftermath of being molested, and then about how I have overcome..

Part of the book will have some parts about my mother and her drug use.  I have been very open about how I felt about my mother feeling like she chose drugs over me. The reality is she didn’t, I know that there are others out there who had parents that used drugs and probably did not understand the drug use either.  I remember days when she made promises but broke them…. The promises were broken because she found, panhandled, or even begged for money to get her drugs.  I never knew how to express my feelings and emotions because I was too young, so I expressed anger towards her.  My mother was a wonderful woman, but she did not know how to leave the drugs alone, I believe because she was embarrassed about her mental illness. My mother was bi-polar and had schizophrenia symptoms as well…

BUT no matter what she always told me that she loved me.

I know what it’s like to want “that” special mother’s love,

I know what it’s like to want to go to the mother’s dance with your actual mother,

I know what it’s like to want to call and talk on the phone with my mother when feeling down,

I know what it’s like to sit on the sidelines and see friends interacting with their mother and feeling left out even with them doing the best that they can to make me apart of their family.

Through it all I have kept most of my true feelings to myself because at the end of the day, I do not have a mother who is here in the physical but I am not lacking in spirit.  God knows what the plan he has for my life, and it would be unappreciative of me to act as if the ‘mothers’ I do have do not mean a lot to me.  I may not have my birth mother, but God has placed other women in my life who are like a mother to help me.

So if you, are like me in the sense of not having a physical mother here on earth (no matter the reason), but have women in your life that can be that mother figure make sure you take the time out to thank them.

Feel free to share with me if you would like! 🙂


Meet Brittany Polk!

Name and Location

Britany Polk

1.    What is your passion in life?

My passion is to be a successful creative director/designer/stylist lol.  I love helping people, especially when it involves clothing and accessory choices.

2.    What is your current job?

I currently work as an accounting assistant in a law firm.  This by no means is my career.  It’s that “I needed a job out of college and this is what I came up with” instance.  I received my Masters in Integrated Marketing Communications and am looking to utilize that degree in the creative field.  So now I am on a serious job hunt (anyone in the Chicago area can definitely forward me any job openings if you hear of anything lol).

3.    Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? 

I did take a leap of faith and launched my own business called Luxcheri, pronounced “luxury” with Cheri being my middle name.   Right now it is a compilation of handmade jewelry and accessories along with vintage jewelry.  I plan to add my own clothing line and reconstructed/thrifted vintage clothing, but I am starting small first in order to build a solid customer base.  The mission is to provide unique options for anyone’s styling needs, whether it’s with jewelry or clothing.  I am all about one-of-a-kind pieces because it allows people to express their personal style without being cookie cutter.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

I have what you call kakorrhaphiophobia, fear of failing.  I know I am not the only one.  Sometimes, that gets the best of my and like in so many past projects, I would just give up.  But this time, I am like, what the heck, if I fail, at least I tried and I can always try again until I succeed.  After all success is nothing without failure.  So this time in my endeavors, I am really pushing myself to go beyond the limits and just produce things that I like and stick with it, good or bad.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes!! I always get this feeling that people will not like what I produce and that scares me.  Often times, I hold back more in those instances rather than just letting it be.  I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into the pieces I create, so just like anyone else, I always want to hear good feedback.  But I have realized everyone rocks to the rhythm of their own drum, so I have to understand some people will like it and some people won’t.  I just make sure I go hard for those who do like it.

6.    Describe your brand in one word.

Powerful

7.    Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

I have failed many times, so it’s hard to pick just one instance, but if I had to pick one, it would be not going for my dream in the beginning.  What I mean by that is, I wish I would have followed my heart when deciding on college.  Don’t get me wrong, college is and has been very great to me, but I just wish I would have went to fashion school instead of the traditional college.  I let people get into my head saying it’s going to be hard, not enough money, blah, blah, blah.  If I had followed my own heart, I think I would have been better off.  So I would consider that a failure, not following my own heart.  But now I try to listen to my gut instincts and just go for what I like instead of letting others persuade me.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

Urban professionals are my target consumer.  I don’t think I would change this.  I think urban professionals have a lot of purchasing power, which is a very good thing.

9.    What inspires you?

This is a hard question because it is literally everything from color to art or even random people on the bus or walking down the street as I go to work.  I love looking at things and picking them apart to see what else it can become.

10. Who inspires you?

I have a few people who inspire me.

My mom – for her creativity and sense of style.  I learned a lot from her.

My pooh Felix – for his motivation, drive, and positive reinforcement that actually helped me jump start my business.

Aunt Bonita – the most outgoing and creative woman you’ll ever meet. She keeps it real all the time and she’s herself without any regrets.

Andrea aka Peachie – She is a very influential and inspirational person in my life as she is a young entrepreneur who has really been a mentor to me in helping me start my journey.

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

I am always trying to figure out what’s next and how can I make it unique.  Everyone and their momma create jewelry or clothing to some capacity and what I don’t ever want to do is copy or mimic someone else.  I always want it to be a reflection of me.  I have found that hard as some of the bracelets I create are similar to other designers, and that is one of the main reasons I decided to expand outside of that.  I like things to be my own.  Of course if my customers ask for something, I make it happen, but I always try to put my own twist on things.

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? 

The monotony.  I like to be moving around, not stuck at a desk entering in data all day, and that’s pretty much what I do.  It becomes very hard on some days when there is absolutely nothing to do.  I want a job that I actually look forward to going to everyday.  But as of now, I have to be thankful that I have a job.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Go for what you know and what you like.  Once you get that mindset, nothing can really stop you at that point.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I look at my current situation and ask myself is this what I want to be doing in the next 5, 10, 15 years and then I kick it into high tail gear and start sketching and creating.  I want to enjoy my life, not be a negative Nancy about why nothing is going right.  You have to enjoy life.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

I think during this whole process, I have had to become more talkative.  I tend to be a tad quiet and very modest/shy when it comes to projects I am working on or am a part of. It’s weird because a part of me does like the limelight, and then the other part is like, no it’s too much.  But I definitely have been coming out of my shell more and that’s pretty big for me.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

I am working on getting my website together as we speak. The launch  date was suppose to be on August 17th, an ode to my mother for her birthday, but there have been some technical difficulties that have come up. So I am planning to launch in a couple of weeks.  I at least hope to be running on August 31.

Website: www.shopluxcheri.com

Instagram: luxcheri

Twitter: @luxcheri

Blog: www.luxcheri.blogspot.com


I’m a ……

Mommie!!!!!! 🙂

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Charlie is his name.
Beagle/Pit mix.
Two months old.
Learning to potty train.

Isn’t he just the cutest, I’m reading up and hearing that he’s going to get bigger… Not too happy about having a huge dog, but he’s changed my mind about that… I am thankful that I did wait though for the right puppy instead of moving fast like I normally do… 🙂

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Day 30:

Your highs and lows of this month:

Highs:

Spending time with and getting to know the real personality of my friend (let’s call her Hazel Eyes).

Coming to grips with my finances and TRULY working on getting them together.

Having insurance to handle doctor appointments and the such.

Applying to a Gender Studies Certificate Program which is the lead way to a PH.D program .

Getting a WONDERFUL recommendation from my supervisor at CHS when I thought/felt that she hadn’t noticed any of my growth since being hired.

Started therapy. Again.

Had my first ‘party’  strategically named “Javania’s Get Together and you know I made a hashtag.. LoL

Found out that I am having a new nephew!!!! 🙂

Figuring out and accepting my niche for my business.

Lows:

Seeing the actual number figure of said messed up financial issues.

Finding out that I failed the most important class of my Graduate Program and not getting my diploma until I retake.

Got VERY annoyed that my closest friends were not in attendance at said party.

Came to terms that I am in the position because I am not truly listening to what God is telling me.

 

As you can see I did not have many lows this month which is a blessing. I enjoyed doing this challenge and I really liked doing this particular post.  I will like to incorporate a HIGHS/LOWS post monthly so that I can see in writing that I am blessed beyond measure! (no matter how much I think I am not at times).  I am still working on getting the new site built, it’s actually almost done but I had some financial setbacks but no worries, it will be done soon and I cannot wait to reveal!! If you missed out on the challenge, have no worries you can start the 30 days whenever you want to.. Just click on the link below to get Sunny’s explanation 🙂

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


CoverGirl

Janelle Monae……

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Amazing!

I love CoverGirl for adding more diversity to the company… Not to mention Janelle is fabulous and Natural.. She goes to show that being true to yourself works and most important is needed more in the industry where individuals change to be popular…

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Day 29:

Goals for the next 30 days:

I always have goals lined up and sometimes I complete them and sometimes I don’t.  It just depends on how I am feeling.

A few of my goals for the month;

*Open up more to my friend

* Finish second Ebook

*Get mentally prepared for Fall Semester

*Finish application for Spring 2013 (will tell more later)

*Gain new insight on online marketing

*Find a new job

*Continue to become financially stable

 

What about your goals for the next 30 days?

 

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


Day 28:

Something that you miss:

 

Living in the Central West End of St. Louis (City)..

I was able to walk to the hot restaurants, walk to the dry cleaners, movies, desert places… You get the point.. I live in the city again just not close enough to the it spots that would enable me to walk…

However I love my apartment…just wish I could pick it up and place it closer to the funnnnnn stuff with out the price tag!!

 

My old apartment in the CWE when I was in the process of moving to South County…where I was miserable daily…

I moved to South City  when I left South County….

I am SOOOOO happy… much happier.. 🙂


Day 26:

What kind of person attracts you?

 

Someone who is…

kind,

loving,

respectful,

fashionable,

attractive in their own way,

compassionate,

and honest.

Everything else will work it’s way out in my opinion.

 

What about you?

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.