LoveHer

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Last weekend was Enjoi Enter Tainment’s LoveHer weekend which was a series of days focusing on helping Lesbian women becoming better for themselves and partners.. I represented #teamsingle for the weekend..

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Friday night started with: Speed Dating, I took part and it was fun. It was something to do and was a step outside of the box for me.. When you are a femme lesbian, it’s hard for others to tell that you are ‘family’ unless you’re in the ‘scene’ or know alot of other lesbians and that I am not.. Lol So I was able to mingle and flirt which is always a plus for me.. 🙂 I met some women that automatically had me giving side eyes…. With pictures to prove I desperately need to work on my facial expressions… And there were also some women who gave me butterflies… I think WE know which one is better for me!

Saturday during the day: Safe Sex/Healthy Relationship Seminars and I facilitated the Healthy Relationship seminar and got to meet Dread aka Miller from Between Women TV…

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This was a different experience because romantic relationships are hard for me but I was again able to step outside of my comfort zone and do something that was foreign to me and was successful. I also learned a lot about sex that I can truly say I didn’t know and thought I did.. That was an eye opening for me and a lot of other women who were there to participate as well!

Saturday Night: Dice from LaLa Full Court was in the building at the Skate King roller rink I however did not go… Simply because I would have been acting foolish trying to kidnap Dice.. (I kid I kid) wellllll not really!

Sunday Night: LoveHer ended with a bang…. Poetry Night was the closing of a fun filled weekend the name of the night was ‘She is Poetry’ ….. That name has a ring to me, I enjoyed just sitting and listening to words that were being subconsciously spoken to me..
At She is Poetry:

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Enjoi Enter Tainment is known for throwing and putting on parties, but I must say that they did good programming and uplifting women in a positive way!!

Here are some other photos from Saturday…

Check out Enjoi Enter Tainment out on Facebook…

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Black Sheep

When you are born into a family….and mostly everyone is normal.. Normal being Heterosexual in my case, it’s hard being the outcast..

Let me explain…..

I am a proud lesbian, my family feels I am in a phase.. Well let’s just say I have outgrown the phase age stage in my life… The moment I came out of the closet I broke free and have been trying to defend who I was ever since.

Why am I constantly defending who I am though?

This is a question I cannot answer because I have a need to want to be loved.. Loved from my family. I care what my family thinks of me, not people who don’t give two shits nor know who I truly am (let’s get this common miscommunication clear) I think I care so much because my aunts and uncles helped raise me where my mother and father fell short and then when my mother died they stepped in even more. So there’s a different dynamic relationship here…..

However, I have to and must follow the same advice that I give my clients who are dealing with or have dealt with the same issues.

Its simple…

God did not make any mistakes with me.

I am who I am.

I will not change who I am for my family.

I will not hide who I am.

I am in love with Javania.

I will not continue to defend my attraction.

I therefore will not longer feel as if I am the Black Sheep in my family.

 

 

Have you ever felt like the oddball in your family? Share your story below.


Five Love Lanuages…

SINGLES EDITION

(this photo is not the singles edition cover, photo is taken from personal IPhone and the book was paid for by me)

My sis is reading the edition that Gary Chapman intended to be for women and men who are married or engaged to get married..but it seems that single people wanted something to help them in the love department as welllllll…….. When she advised me to get the copy I immediately took offense because I thought she had jokes.. But I am actually glad that she told me about it. I just started this book and I am loving reading every minute of it.. (This is the first book that I am reading on my IPad and it’s not bad)

The premise of the book is for you to fully know your love language before you can know someone else’s love language and that it is okay if your languages do not match, but you have to be willing to fulfill your partners language. Of course the examples are for heterosexual couples, but I do not think that this book excludes homosexual couples. (this is just my opinion, if you know of a book that talks about love and it’s strictly for homosexuals let me know in the comments)

I haven’t gotten to the part where he explains the different languages of love but I am looking forward to finding that out! I will update when I figure out.. 🙂


Love.. What?

Who reading this can raise their hand (don’t worry, I can’t see if you do 🙂 )and say that they automatically knew how to love OR truly knew what love was..

I am in my 20’s and I thought I knew what love was, thought I was madly in love more than once, but in reality I think I was in like and lust…

Which leaves me scratching my head confused as heck..

When asking friends and talking to family about love, the most common response I get is “stop looking and thinking about it and it will come” …

Which in my opinion is harder to say than do when you see it all over and in your face daily… I will say that I am a little envious of my close friends that have love because that is something I want…..But to be honest I really don’t know if I would know if love slapped me in my face because it usually does not come wrapped up in a pretty little bow like we are programmed to think while growing up…

So like my family and friend say, I am going to stop thinking about it…It being love…

 

Please Share below….

🙂


Guest Post

Hey loves, I did a post on DMVculture yesterday about my life. It’s short and sweet to the point. I’ve never done a post so raw and real. I just let my hands do the typing and what came out is what I left. Please support and head to the site and not only read my post but other posts there. There is alot of information on the site…

The Link:

http://dmvculture.com/2012/embracing-who-you-are-by-javania-m-webb/

 


LGBTQ LOVE: Zakia

  • Name and Location Zakia B. PA.
  • How old were you when you “came out”? I don’t know if I would call it “coming out”…..I started dating a woman at 32 and didn’t hide it! I didn’t call a family meeting or anything, I’ve never announced who I was dating before and didn’t feel the need to now!
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex?  I’ve always thought girls were pretty , but not in a sexual way! I became sexually attracted to women in my late teens, but I never ever thought I would be in a relationship with a women!
  • How did your family react?  My mother is bisexual as well, so the members of my family who know about my relationship, haven’t said anything or questioned my decision. My friends were the ones with the issue!
  • Do you label yourself?  No, my friends always ask  “Are you gay?” My response is no, right now I’m dating a women! The fact that she is a woman had nothing to do with my attraction. It was something about HER, from the first time I saw her I knew she would be in my life!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of?  When people think about LBGTQ the first thing they think of is sex! Like we have sex 24 hours a day! This could not be further from the truth!
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth?  All young people need support, however I think LGBTQ youth need a little extra support with more hugs!  They need positive role models, I hope to be that one day!
  • Do you think that you were born gay?  I think that I was born with an attraction to women!
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I was raised in a very religious family, my grandfather and my brother are both pastors. I find that using ORGANIZED religion as a basis to bash homesexuality, is hypocritical. Most religions teach that God, Jesus , Allah created us and loves us ALL, if that is the case HE must love the Gays as well, right?
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I have two children, a thirteen year old son and a five year old daughter.  Telling my son was the hardest thing to do, I wanted to be honest with him, because my mother was never honest with me about her sexuality when I was a child! I told him as soon as I thought my relationship was getting serious! My kids are this ONLY people I’m concerned with, I want to make sure they are happy and love who I love. So far it’s worked out well!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive?  Growing up with a bisexual mother, and attending boarding school for many years, taught me tolerance and acceptance! We may not agree with what others do, but the key to living in a peaceful society is to be tolerant of other peoples choices in how they live their lives. If they’re are not hurting others or themselves, people should be able to life their lives in peace, without worring about discrimination of ant kind. I hope to be an example to my children and all children I have taught over my decade long teaching career!

LGBTQ LOVE: Dawn Johnson

Name and Location Dawn Johnson – Los Angeles, California

  • How old were you when you “came out”? I was 31 when I came out publicly, 20 when I initially told my dad
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? I was 15 years old
  • How did your family react? My family has been very supportive of my lifestyle choices.
  • Do you label yourself? I label myself in private but not in public i.e., I know I’m an Aggressive Femme and not a stud or a regular femme.
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? The misconception I would want to get rid of is that all people in the LGBTQ are dysfunctional due to being abused or hurt by the opposite sex.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? I think we can help the LGBTQ Youth by being examples of what healthy LGBTQ adults look like.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? I think I was born with the attraction to women, however was raised to believe that I should be with a man.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I feel there are people who bash homosexuality from the religious sector who are only doing so because they are hiding their fear of being “outed”.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I’m pregnant and plan to teach my children about all aspects of love so they can understand that there is no right and wrong if the love is real and pure.
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? I choose my experiences and teach from the lessons I learn.

Pariah Review

Saint Louis finally got the movie… a couple of friends and I went on opening day… Not many people were there, I’ll say a good 20 people…… that’s pushing it. Of course there were more white people than African American… this is a movie that I feel everyone should see no matter your sexual orientation, however, I do feel that LBGTQ’s needs to see it more….These words are my opinions, please go watch the movie for yourself to get a better understanding.

Pariah:

http://focusfeatures.com/pariah/photos

Alike–played by Adepero Oduye, a young African American woman, senior year of high school, and apart of a family that is full of silent dysfunction.

Which starts with her parents.

Mother Audrey—played by Kim Wayans is overbearing and controlling.

Father Arthur—played by Charles Parnell non-existent because he does not want to be with mother. He’s a police officer and uses that to his advantage, and is never home.

Alike’s younger sister Sharonda—played by Sahra Melesse is the “prodigal” child according to her mother.. she happens to love being a “girl” …

Alike is identifying to be more masculine.

Alikes close friend, Laura—played by Pernell Walker a stud… who is in love with Alike but refuses to tell her (I was able to sense some liking from the first interaction).

Alike’s mother Audrey does not like Laura because she feels that she is influencing her in a negative way.  Audrey is odd, she has issues communicating, in a scene while she was at work on lunch, she is very uncomfortable being around people.  I believe it’s because of low and lack of self-esteem that she never handled from the past, plus having to deal with her husband cheating but not wanting to divorce, add that with her two children being aggravated with her.

Alike mother forces her to become friends with one of her co-workers daughter Bina—played by Aasha Davis, Audrey thinks Bina will have a “positive” influence on Alike… Bina however, is a wild child.  So much so that Bina ends up being Alike’s first and breaking her heart, because she just wanted to chill and have sex.  Even though Alike’s feelings were hurt, that moment was all of the confirmation that she needed.  She knew from that first kiss that the feelings she’d been having were indeed real.

Alike acknowledged that she was a lesbian.  She found her voice.

Her mother proceeds to beat her, Alike packs up some clothes and goes to stay with Laura.  Audrey goes on with life as if nothing happened and the next scene while they are eating dinner Sharonda mentions to her father that he needs to go find Alike.  Alike finds out that she can graduate high school early, and asks her father to sign the paperwork.  Alike goes to her mother’s job to tell her she loved her and to let her know of her plans, Audrey acts as if she is not there, and tells her she will pray for her then walks away.  Alike moves across country to attend a prestigious college writing program..

This film hits on many issues in the African American family..acting as if everything is alright when deep down you know it’s not. Numerous stereotypes are throughout this movie. Some of the stereotypes maybe true for some, but false for others. The point is light being shown on the issues in our families. Homosexuality is not a disease and I do not feel that it is wrong.  God made me and I know for a fact that he did not make any mistakes when he designed me. I know that the family issues when it comes to acknowledging your child is “different” and not going the way you want them to go are in my family. I have talked openly about how my family has responded to me coming out, although I have not been disowned, they have moments when the words they let come out of their mouth equate to diarrhea.  I have no control over that so I continue to live my life.. As it would be pleasing to God, not man.

Website link again… http://focusfeatures.com/pariah


LGBT LOVE: Danielle Pope


  • Name and Location – My name is Danielle Pope, I am 23 years old and a current resident of Virginia Beach, VA
  • How old were you when you “came out”? – I didn’t officially come out to my family until my junior year in high school, so I was 16/17 years old…Even though my attraction was exceedingly obvious at such a youthful age.
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? – At only 8 years old
  • How did your family react? – Oh Man! You would have thought the world was going to end. I have had my family tell me I am doomed to hell. My father had a strong disgust with my sexuality …  and still does till this very day. My grandparents suggest I seek a psychiatrist for my “issue”. My newly reformed mother doesn’t understand it … but at least she accepts it. As far as my sexuality and my family goes, I can only really confide in my sisters and my younger brother-they love me for me.
  • Do you label yourself? – Yes, I label myself confidently as a lesbian. No, I don’t believe that labels make the person because there are deeper treasures to me than just to be defined and enclosed to my sexuality. I do believe that in whatever you are or whatever you do … HAVE CONFIDENCE and have NO shame!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? – That gay people are supposed to look a certain way. It makes me cringe when people comment and infamously say “you’re too pretty to be gay”.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? – By being an inspiration by sharing my stories and my struggles. Showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? – Yes, he made me this way and it was without mistake.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing? – So many of these so-called and self titled Christians shed hate, judgment and cruelty on our lifestyles. I don’t understand how a place that is suppose to accept and love anyone can be so cold hearted and evil? It is sad, because we are children of God. Religion is a touchy topic…many feel that if they aren’t living right or up to specific standards that they are automatically sentenced to hell. What makes these people so much better than anyone in the LGBTQ community and gives anyone the right to ridicule our lives? God is the only judge.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? – No, I don’t have any children. I plan on having some in the future!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? – I find joy in the little things life has to offer. As long as I have peace within myself, living life to the best of its ability, putting a smile on the faces of people that I love and uplifting others … then there’s no question in my positivity.
  • Where can we find you on the web? — You can find me along with my written articles on DMVculture.com (please check it out and support). Also, on Facebook- Danielle Pope Twitter-@culturalFEM and Instagram-@yourfavoritelesbian

 


Do YOU need HELP?

For Suicidal Thoughts or Actions?

Do you know someone who has made suicidal comments recently or in the past?

If so please take the time out to read this post and HELP…..

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As someone who tried to commit suicide to end the pain I was going through at the time (I thank God daily that  I did not succeed), I always want to help others who are feeling suicidal. I work at a crisis call center for individuals who are suicidal or homicidal. I go out into the community to prevent suicides.  At times it does not always work.  They are too far depressed or was not able to get help sooner.

If you know someone who has said anything to you Suicidal please call the hotline number 1-800-273-8255 to get them some help even if they protest. Suicide is nothing to make light of..

If someone is coming to you saying “odd” things or acting “odd” it is usually a cry for help. Don’t let that cry go unheard. Some individuals don’t want to come out and say the words be it embarrassment or shame. I know that if my college roommate hadn’t walked in when she did, life would be different for me. I never went to my friends and said that I wanted to commit suicide… I was “all smiles and jokes” hurting and rotting on the inside…

If YOU reading this is going through hard times and you want to commit suicide to end the pain I BEG you to try to get help first and know that whatever you are going through right now will get better. You have to work at it and be patient. Please call that hotline number, it’s 24/7 so someone will be there to talk to you any time of the day.

Remember someone loves you. And that someone should start with YOU.

 

Here are some links that you can read to get familiar with suicide:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://healthmad.com/mental-health/myth-and-facts-about-suicide/

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

That Suicidal Hotline Number again is 1-800-273-8255