Pariah Review

Saint Louis finally got the movie… a couple of friends and I went on opening day… Not many people were there, I’ll say a good 20 people…… that’s pushing it. Of course there were more white people than African American… this is a movie that I feel everyone should see no matter your sexual orientation, however, I do feel that LBGTQ’s needs to see it more….These words are my opinions, please go watch the movie for yourself to get a better understanding.

Pariah:

http://focusfeatures.com/pariah/photos

Alike–played by Adepero Oduye, a young African American woman, senior year of high school, and apart of a family that is full of silent dysfunction.

Which starts with her parents.

Mother Audrey—played by Kim Wayans is overbearing and controlling.

Father Arthur—played by Charles Parnell non-existent because he does not want to be with mother. He’s a police officer and uses that to his advantage, and is never home.

Alike’s younger sister Sharonda—played by Sahra Melesse is the “prodigal” child according to her mother.. she happens to love being a “girl” …

Alike is identifying to be more masculine.

Alikes close friend, Laura—played by Pernell Walker a stud… who is in love with Alike but refuses to tell her (I was able to sense some liking from the first interaction).

Alike’s mother Audrey does not like Laura because she feels that she is influencing her in a negative way.  Audrey is odd, she has issues communicating, in a scene while she was at work on lunch, she is very uncomfortable being around people.  I believe it’s because of low and lack of self-esteem that she never handled from the past, plus having to deal with her husband cheating but not wanting to divorce, add that with her two children being aggravated with her.

Alike mother forces her to become friends with one of her co-workers daughter Bina—played by Aasha Davis, Audrey thinks Bina will have a “positive” influence on Alike… Bina however, is a wild child.  So much so that Bina ends up being Alike’s first and breaking her heart, because she just wanted to chill and have sex.  Even though Alike’s feelings were hurt, that moment was all of the confirmation that she needed.  She knew from that first kiss that the feelings she’d been having were indeed real.

Alike acknowledged that she was a lesbian.  She found her voice.

Her mother proceeds to beat her, Alike packs up some clothes and goes to stay with Laura.  Audrey goes on with life as if nothing happened and the next scene while they are eating dinner Sharonda mentions to her father that he needs to go find Alike.  Alike finds out that she can graduate high school early, and asks her father to sign the paperwork.  Alike goes to her mother’s job to tell her she loved her and to let her know of her plans, Audrey acts as if she is not there, and tells her she will pray for her then walks away.  Alike moves across country to attend a prestigious college writing program..

This film hits on many issues in the African American family..acting as if everything is alright when deep down you know it’s not. Numerous stereotypes are throughout this movie. Some of the stereotypes maybe true for some, but false for others. The point is light being shown on the issues in our families. Homosexuality is not a disease and I do not feel that it is wrong.  God made me and I know for a fact that he did not make any mistakes when he designed me. I know that the family issues when it comes to acknowledging your child is “different” and not going the way you want them to go are in my family. I have talked openly about how my family has responded to me coming out, although I have not been disowned, they have moments when the words they let come out of their mouth equate to diarrhea.  I have no control over that so I continue to live my life.. As it would be pleasing to God, not man.

Website link again… http://focusfeatures.com/pariah


LGBT LOVE: Danielle Pope


  • Name and Location – My name is Danielle Pope, I am 23 years old and a current resident of Virginia Beach, VA
  • How old were you when you “came out”? – I didn’t officially come out to my family until my junior year in high school, so I was 16/17 years old…Even though my attraction was exceedingly obvious at such a youthful age.
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? – At only 8 years old
  • How did your family react? – Oh Man! You would have thought the world was going to end. I have had my family tell me I am doomed to hell. My father had a strong disgust with my sexuality …  and still does till this very day. My grandparents suggest I seek a psychiatrist for my “issue”. My newly reformed mother doesn’t understand it … but at least she accepts it. As far as my sexuality and my family goes, I can only really confide in my sisters and my younger brother-they love me for me.
  • Do you label yourself? – Yes, I label myself confidently as a lesbian. No, I don’t believe that labels make the person because there are deeper treasures to me than just to be defined and enclosed to my sexuality. I do believe that in whatever you are or whatever you do … HAVE CONFIDENCE and have NO shame!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? – That gay people are supposed to look a certain way. It makes me cringe when people comment and infamously say “you’re too pretty to be gay”.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? – By being an inspiration by sharing my stories and my struggles. Showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? – Yes, he made me this way and it was without mistake.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing? – So many of these so-called and self titled Christians shed hate, judgment and cruelty on our lifestyles. I don’t understand how a place that is suppose to accept and love anyone can be so cold hearted and evil? It is sad, because we are children of God. Religion is a touchy topic…many feel that if they aren’t living right or up to specific standards that they are automatically sentenced to hell. What makes these people so much better than anyone in the LGBTQ community and gives anyone the right to ridicule our lives? God is the only judge.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? – No, I don’t have any children. I plan on having some in the future!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? – I find joy in the little things life has to offer. As long as I have peace within myself, living life to the best of its ability, putting a smile on the faces of people that I love and uplifting others … then there’s no question in my positivity.
  • Where can we find you on the web? — You can find me along with my written articles on DMVculture.com (please check it out and support). Also, on Facebook- Danielle Pope Twitter-@culturalFEM and Instagram-@yourfavoritelesbian

 


Appreciation

NO ONE SAID THINGS WOULD BE EASY….

I want to THANK each and EVERY one of you for reading and commenting on my posts. That means so much to know that my words are indeed reaching someone to help them. When I first started blogging it was just for fun, but then when I started my business I felt that I needed to blog only about business stuff… but that did not work out because I was finding myself staring at the empty document. I know blog for myself and then others, because I want to make sure I am staying true to myself and what I want to express and talk about.  At first when I had low numbers for reading I thought that what I was saying was stupid and no one wanted to hear. But I quickly learned that QUALITY vs. QUANTITY is whats more important. I have applied that to my life in EVERY aspect.  Thank you for your continued support! 🙂


Meet Tiffany “The Budgetnista”

The Budgetnista Interview


Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche / On a plane and Newark, NJ

1.  What is your passion in life?

To live a purposeful, passionate life and to help others along the way.  Oh and traveling.

2.  What is your current job?

I’m self employed as a fun, financial literacy coach (heavy emphasis on the fun).

3.  Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission?

C.L.D. (Control, Lead, Develop) Financial Life / The Budgetnista

The mission and vision of my firm CLD /The Budgetnista is to teach all of my clients how to Live Richer (to purposely and passionately pursue your ideal life). Personal finance is one of the tools I use to achieve this goal.

4.  Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

Of course!

– Not being able to make enough money to support myself

– Lack of knowledge

– The opinion of others

– Making mistakes and their subsequent consequences.

– My unknown future

5.  Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes, I was insecure about my abilities. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of delivering on the promises rendered. I’ve since learn to under-promise and over-deliver.

6.  Describe your brand in one word.

Possible

7.  Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

Yes. I was fired from my very first speaking engagement because of a tweet. After being hired by the company to do a series of financial literacy seminars, I excitedly went on twitter and tweeted the details of the job in a reckless and arrogant way. I’m ashamed to say it but I tweeted:

 

“___________ company in _____, NJ just hired me to speak & I’m getting paid doctor rates!!”

 

I can laugh about it now, but they weren’t laughing. Someone in their corporate office found the tweet and faxed it to the location were I was to speak. I was immediately un-hired and told that I was a security risk and that I showed very poor judgment in bragging about the rate we agreed upon. Needless to say, I felt terrible.

The lessons I learned from that embarrassing experience are, the power of social media and the importance of humility.

8.  Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

My target consumers have chosen me, so no, I wouldn’t want to change them. Although I have customers from every demographic imaginable, the overwhelming majority are professional women of color ages 21-40.

9.  What inspires you?

Books

My motherland; Nigeria, Africa

My failures, my successes

10. Who inspires you?

My parents

Dream Catchers: My entrepreneur friends

My 4 sisters

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

There is NO plan B.

I was not built to be ordinary

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now?

Although I have a long way to go, I’m just were I should be. To me, success is just as much about the journey as it is the arrival. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the ride.

The only real change that I’d make right now, is that I’d really like an active mentor.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Live Richer: purposefully and passionately pursue your ideal life.

It doesn’t make sense to wait to live ideally “one day”.  Figure out how you can get your Happy now, and do it.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I read A LOT. A good book can be a reprieve to help me recharge, give me new ideas, and push me to stretch my abilities.

I also study successful people. Some well known and famous, but most are not.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

Yes, the biggest one was convincing clients to take a chance on an unknown brand, The Budgetnista. Finances are difficult enough to share, but especially with someone you don’t know.

Another obstacle was writing and self-publishing my book, The One Week Budget. I cried so many times!

When you self-publish you have to do EVERYTHING; write, get the cover and inside pages designed, market yourself, figure out printing and pricing, and pay for everything.

It was one of the hardest times in my life because I didn’t have a road map and no one I knew had done it before me so I stumbled around in the dark. It was also one of my most rewarding experiences and I now help coach other authors on how to navigate the process.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

On my site: http://thebudgetnista.biz/

 


Ashly Nash: LGBTQ Love

Ashly, Louisiana

How old were you when you “came out”?

I was 18 years old.

How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex?

In the 10th grade I felt an attraction to the same sex

How did your family react?

My mom was the most disturbed by this discovery and she took it upon herself to out me to the rest of my family. To this day we hardly speak about it.

Do you label yourself?

No labels for me.

What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of?

One misconception I’d like to get rid of is the idea that lesbians have certain roles. Often when it is discovered  that a woman is a lesbian, the first question is, “ Who is the boy and who is the girl?” When in actuality the relationships don’t work that way.

How can you help the LGBTQ Youth?

I’d like to create an environment for the youth to feel comfortable being themselves.

Do you think that you were born gay?

I think that I was born just the way I was supposed to be. I don’t know if I was born gay but I do know that I prefer the same sex.

How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?

I think that it is completely wrong to base hatred for homosexuals on religion. God created all of us and he loves all of us equally. I do not believe that we serve a hateful God.

Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? No Children (yet!)
How do you make sure that you are being positive?

I start each day writing down 5 things I am grateful for each day.

Where can we find you on the web?

www.ashnash.tumblr.com

www.twitter.com/ashnash


Meet Nicole Clark

Name and Location: Nicole Clark, New York City

1. What is your passion in life? : My passion centers around educating, including, affirming, and empowering women of color (women who identify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous) to becoming change agents in their lives around sexual and reproductive health. I work to make sure that women of color have equal access to medically accurate throughout the spectrums of sexual and reproductive wellness.
2. What is your current job? : I currently work as a social worker at a national advocacy organization that serves people affected with and by HIV/AIDS and homelessness.

3. Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? : I recently began my consulting business called Nicole Clark Consulting, where my mission is “Infusing Passion & Creativity to Improve the Health and Lives of Women & Girls of Color”. I share my experiences and expertise on sexual health, reproductive justice, advocacy, images of women of color in the media, street harassment, HIV prevention, community organizing, gender-based violence, and self care.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business? : My initial fear was wondering if I had anything to add to this particular field of activism, followed by if I could ever fully get to the point where I can make a substantial living writing, consulting, and speaking on these issues.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business? : As I got more into my blogging and started back conducting workshops and speaking engagements (I took some time off between 2008-2010 to attend graduate school for social work), I started to worry more about my personal brand and how I can strategically set myself apart from others in order to generate better opportunities.

6. Describe your brand in one word. : Empowerment

7. Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them? : I haven’t been in my consulting business for very long, so I don’t have any marked failures yet. I guess one ongoing problem I have is over-extending myself and taking on too many opportunities, which has led to burn-out on occasion. Also, trying to balance my 9-5 with my consulting business is always a challenge.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?: My target audience is women and girls who indentify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous.

9. Who inspires you? : I often get inspiration from women of color who have decided to live life on their own terms. On my blog, I’ve created the Women Making Moves! series, where I interview women of color in various fields who have found passion in their lives and work. I initially began the series as a way to encourage myself, but I’ve found from many of my readers that the interview series is a favorite of theirs as well.

10. What is always at the back of your mind? : I’m always thinking of how I can be more effective in my blogging style and how I can interact with my social media followers to increase their trust in me. I also think about my family a lot. I’m originally from Georgia and the majority of my family is still in the south. While I’m grateful for the chosen family I’ve developed in New York City, there’s nothing like being with the people who make you…you. I try to go home as often as I can.

11. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? : The biggest change I am making in my career is getting everything in place to fully transition into full-time consulting.

12. What advice do you have for others? : One biggest piece of advice I have comes from a song called “Open Your Eyes (You Can Fly)” by Vanessa Williams and Me’shell Ndegeocello . The lyrics are “You can’t wait for others to applaud what you do. So just congratulate yourself and start something new.” Receiving recognition is always nice, but when we rely heavily on it to the point where it affects our sense of self, it can become problematic. We should also be striving to grow better and to strive higher, and to help others along the way.

13. How do you motivate yourself?: I motivate myself by surrounding myself with friends and family that love me for me. I also create communities that are reflective of who I am as a personal and professional.. Since I am a social worker, activist, and college/graduate school graduate, I try to keep strong ties with people I’ve met that fall into these communities for me.

14. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?: The biggest obstacle I’ve ever faced (and continue to face) are the self-defeating thoughts and negative self-talk. Perception is reality, and how you feel about yourself ultimately manifest itself into your surroundings, how you interact with others, and how they respond to you.

15. Where can we find you on the web? You can find me at my website, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.


2011 In Review

Me in March 2011.

Happy.

Sad.

Monumental.

Gazillion of lessons.

Lost friendships.

Gained friendships.

Ended a relationship that never should have been.

Semi-Rekindled a relationship with a close family member.

Met some women.

One is a potential.

Got a couple of jobs (PT but helpful nonetheless).

Decided that I am not going to pigeonhole myself to stay here in St. Louis.. I am single with no dependents.

Hosted two events… One here in Saint Louis and another in Chicago:

“Embracing Who You Are”

“Youth Self-Empowerment”

Learned my niche and how to stay in my lane.

Was apart of “Embrace The Skin You’re In” hosted by Brittany “Miss Fitt Britt’ Ramsey.

Got burned by people using me and stealing ideas.

Placed myself into some financial troubles.

Went to Florida to see my nieces, oldest brother and sister in law.

Watched my older younger brother complete one of his biggest dreams (Becoming a Police Officer).

Got the EIN number for my business.

Met and interviewed Lisa Price.

Met and got business advice from Rae Lewis Thornton *Sad that I don’t have a picture :-(.

Was apart of a great movement “Show Me The Blog” birthed by Danyelle Little.

Met and Stanned for Miss Robbie of Sweetie Pies.

Gained three mentoring clients.

Became apart of a movement “I’m Gay Now What” which is a mentoring Non Profit for LGBTQ Teens.

Did a guest post on a national blog Nicole Clark about “Hate in the LGBTQ Comminity”.

Applied for Graduation and will be walking across the stage May 11, 2012.

 

Me December 2011

I came into my own this year. I love who I am and no one can take that away…

Always make sure that you learn from the lessons that you go through in your life. Good or bad, there is always a message.

I want to take the time out to thank you all for reading and supporting my blog. I started this blog on WordPress in August got way over the amount of views that I expected. That means a lot to me and you all can expect more blog posts (not gonna say daily) from me in the new year….

Love you all, God Bless and Happy Early New Year.

 

XoXo, Javania


Javania Stealing

Stole from Spoken Words & Thoughts

Cheers to all of us thieves!

A. Age: 26

B. Bed size: Euro Top Queen

C. Chore that you hate: Cleaning the kitchen

D. Dogs: Yes, and soon

E. Essential start to your day: Prayer

F. Favorite color: Purple is ALWAYS my fave, but I have been cheating with blues

G. Gold or Silver: Can I pick both? No, okay GoLiver

H. Height: 5’1

I. Instruments you play: None

J. Job title: Entrepreneur, Graduate Student, and Crisis Intervention Specialist

K. Kids: None

L. Live: Saint Louis

M. Mother’s name: Mariyln

N. Nicknames: Jodi, Stink Pot

O. Overnight hospital stays: One

P. Pet peeve: Liars!

Q. Quote from a movie:

R. Right or left handed: Left Handed

S. Siblings: Two brothers

T. Time you wake up: 6:30 am

U. Underwear: Sexy Lace

V. Vegetable you hate: None

W. What makes you run late: Taking my time while getting dress.. Which equates to be getting carried away.. LoL

X. X-Rays you’ve had: A few

Y. Yummy food that you make: Green and sweet corn bread.. BOMB dot COM

Z. Zoo animal: None. Ew.


Eyes Circa 2008

Here is another post I did in 2008 sometime…

When I look into your eyes, what do I see?

I see sadness of hurt from your past relationships;

I also see longing, in your eyes you wanting to love me

But not knowing how

 or wanting to get hurt;

But at times you see the same pain in my eyes,

Only I will not allow you to get close.

My heart is wounded; it just needs a little time to heal;

From all of the disappointment and frustration

Of needing and wanting to be loved,

But not knowing how to ask or receive it


Mentoring OUR Youth

When you sit back and think back to the years when you were in grade school through high school, what do you remember the most? DO you remember bullying, having sex in the corner stairwell hall, being made fun of because you didn’t have the “in” clothes, getting good grades, tutoring or getting tutored, being mentored by someone older ??

Now think about where you are now, and the conversations that your sisters, cousins, brothers, nephews, or nieces are having?

Are you worried that they are getting the wrong information?

I am… and I mentor..

When a teenager asks ‘What does fucking feel like” what should you say?  I can remember thinking about questions like this when I was a teenager.  I remember hearing my auntie telling me that sex is emotional and feels great when it is with the right person.  So again… what should we tell our young ladies when they ask questions like the one above?

 

Other questions I have been asked:

Can you take me to get an abortion?

Can you buy me some condoms?

Can you tell my mom that I am NOT having sex if she asks you?

What does getting and giving head feel like?

Is it okay to reuse condoms?

I thought sex is supposed to feel good, why does it hurt?

 

YOU get the point.. and these are questions from teens who are actively having sex and they are confused about the whole idea of having sex..

 

I have been mentoring since I was 15 with the neighborhood cheerleading team under my Aunt who was the head coach.  These girls were asking me questions about sex that I’d never heard of.. they just assumed that I knew and I am sure I led them the wrong way a couple of times. Butttt it was good to have older friends and to be smart. See I was in honor courses and the upperclassmen were in just about all of my classes soooo I learned and took notes… I first found out about orgasms, oral sex, SEX, and more SEX…You get the picture..(I truly don’t know if that was a good or bad thing..)

 

ANYWHOO…

 

When mentoring a young woman it is your job to provide her with the correct tools and mind frame to help her along her way.  I talk, do activities, give homework (and expect it to be done), and spend time.  I am consistent with them, and I let them know that nothing is off limits, meaning no questions or topics are too personal.  The purpose of me mentoring young women is to help shape and mold them into honest women of our future.  Our youth is hurting tremendously.. and Amber Cole is not the first teen to do something that her boyfriend asked of her because she thought she was in love, teens and “adults” do these type of behaviors daily. BUT the question is WHY are our teens feeling like they must give head or have sex to fit in.

 

I know that I am in the minority when I say that children should be sheltered… my grandmother raised me that way and I believe I came out just fine, of course I had a little bumps along the way, but her strictness was for the better. I grew up in Chicago…we know about the statistics for STDs, STIs, HIV/AIDS there..  I know live in St. Louis and the rates are astronomical in the high schools. These rates will NOT leave until we get real about mentoring, and teaching our teens safe sex and abstinence.

Think about how you can help a teenager out, and make sure that they are going to be prepared for this world that we are living in..

 

Thank you for reading..