LoveHer

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Last weekend was Enjoi Enter Tainment’s LoveHer weekend which was a series of days focusing on helping Lesbian women becoming better for themselves and partners.. I represented #teamsingle for the weekend..

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Friday night started with: Speed Dating, I took part and it was fun. It was something to do and was a step outside of the box for me.. When you are a femme lesbian, it’s hard for others to tell that you are ‘family’ unless you’re in the ‘scene’ or know alot of other lesbians and that I am not.. Lol So I was able to mingle and flirt which is always a plus for me.. 🙂 I met some women that automatically had me giving side eyes…. With pictures to prove I desperately need to work on my facial expressions… And there were also some women who gave me butterflies… I think WE know which one is better for me!

Saturday during the day: Safe Sex/Healthy Relationship Seminars and I facilitated the Healthy Relationship seminar and got to meet Dread aka Miller from Between Women TV…

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This was a different experience because romantic relationships are hard for me but I was again able to step outside of my comfort zone and do something that was foreign to me and was successful. I also learned a lot about sex that I can truly say I didn’t know and thought I did.. That was an eye opening for me and a lot of other women who were there to participate as well!

Saturday Night: Dice from LaLa Full Court was in the building at the Skate King roller rink I however did not go… Simply because I would have been acting foolish trying to kidnap Dice.. (I kid I kid) wellllll not really!

Sunday Night: LoveHer ended with a bang…. Poetry Night was the closing of a fun filled weekend the name of the night was ‘She is Poetry’ ….. That name has a ring to me, I enjoyed just sitting and listening to words that were being subconsciously spoken to me..
At She is Poetry:

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Enjoi Enter Tainment is known for throwing and putting on parties, but I must say that they did good programming and uplifting women in a positive way!!

Here are some other photos from Saturday…

Check out Enjoi Enter Tainment out on Facebook…

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Graduation !!!!

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                                                                                                         Class of 2012

I just graduated with my Master of Arts from Lindenwood University and I cannot be more happier.  Yes, I have my Bachelors degree but I played through that degree, I worked but didn’t really work, this degree came with long nights and tears.  There were many nights where I sat at my computer crying because I didn’t know if wanted to give up or continue on with getting this degree. Life is what you make it, even though I thought about giving up many times I am grateful that I didn’t and that I have people in my corner that helped me through those hard times. This degree came with stress, depression, uncertainty if I was doing the right thing, and sooooo on….. I thank GOD that I didn’t give up. I am a living testimony in more ways than one on doing the best to stay on the right path and not in confusion. Confusion will not leave but it’s what you do with it that makes a difference.

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My sista Alesia graduated with her Masters degree as well!

Who has a testimony that they would like to share about a hard time in their life and they were able to get through it still smiling?


CubeClasses

Danyelle Little of  “The Cubicle Chick” is now having classes for those who need a little help on the direction of their business, blog, and life… They will be called “CubeClasses” and I just LOVE that name. She will be having the first two classes next month.

Thurs., May 17th, 2012- 6-8pm So I Have a Blog. Now What? Learn Six Crucial Steps You Need to Take to Create Traffic & Make Money on Your Blog.

Sat., May 19th, 2012 9-11am ‘Are You Afraid to Launch (Get that Business Off the Ground’).

I will be attending the one on Saturday because deep down I am afraid to launch… Fear must leave my life, mind, and vocabulary… Danyelle is a force that cannot be stopped!!!!  She’s fabulous and a wife with children so we young-ins who do not have a family per-say yet have not one excuse as to why we are steady talking about our dreams but not acting on them.

Check out her CubeClasses website for more information!!

 


Letting GO

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I recently moved BACK to the city and while I was packing and getting ready for the actual move I was getting antsy.. If you have been reading my blog for some time or following me on twitter then you will know… (the apartment had negative energy and history)…. But when I everything was out of the apartment and I turned in my keys I automatically felt that dead and negative energy lift off of me.. I see things in a new light.. I LOVE it where I am and I feel that this apartment was the last thing I needed to erase out of my life from that relationship…. (I also couldn’t bring myself to erase old pictures, but this was THE FIRST thing I did when I moved into my new place)

New Start

New Beginnings

New Thoughts

New Happiness

 

 

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Guest Post

Hey loves, I did a post on DMVculture yesterday about my life. It’s short and sweet to the point. I’ve never done a post so raw and real. I just let my hands do the typing and what came out is what I left. Please support and head to the site and not only read my post but other posts there. There is alot of information on the site…

The Link:

http://dmvculture.com/2012/embracing-who-you-are-by-javania-m-webb/

 


LGBTQ LOVE: Zakia

  • Name and Location Zakia B. PA.
  • How old were you when you “came out”? I don’t know if I would call it “coming out”…..I started dating a woman at 32 and didn’t hide it! I didn’t call a family meeting or anything, I’ve never announced who I was dating before and didn’t feel the need to now!
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex?  I’ve always thought girls were pretty , but not in a sexual way! I became sexually attracted to women in my late teens, but I never ever thought I would be in a relationship with a women!
  • How did your family react?  My mother is bisexual as well, so the members of my family who know about my relationship, haven’t said anything or questioned my decision. My friends were the ones with the issue!
  • Do you label yourself?  No, my friends always ask  “Are you gay?” My response is no, right now I’m dating a women! The fact that she is a woman had nothing to do with my attraction. It was something about HER, from the first time I saw her I knew she would be in my life!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of?  When people think about LBGTQ the first thing they think of is sex! Like we have sex 24 hours a day! This could not be further from the truth!
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth?  All young people need support, however I think LGBTQ youth need a little extra support with more hugs!  They need positive role models, I hope to be that one day!
  • Do you think that you were born gay?  I think that I was born with an attraction to women!
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I was raised in a very religious family, my grandfather and my brother are both pastors. I find that using ORGANIZED religion as a basis to bash homesexuality, is hypocritical. Most religions teach that God, Jesus , Allah created us and loves us ALL, if that is the case HE must love the Gays as well, right?
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I have two children, a thirteen year old son and a five year old daughter.  Telling my son was the hardest thing to do, I wanted to be honest with him, because my mother was never honest with me about her sexuality when I was a child! I told him as soon as I thought my relationship was getting serious! My kids are this ONLY people I’m concerned with, I want to make sure they are happy and love who I love. So far it’s worked out well!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive?  Growing up with a bisexual mother, and attending boarding school for many years, taught me tolerance and acceptance! We may not agree with what others do, but the key to living in a peaceful society is to be tolerant of other peoples choices in how they live their lives. If they’re are not hurting others or themselves, people should be able to life their lives in peace, without worring about discrimination of ant kind. I hope to be an example to my children and all children I have taught over my decade long teaching career!

LGBTQ LOVE: Dawn Johnson

Name and Location Dawn Johnson – Los Angeles, California

  • How old were you when you “came out”? I was 31 when I came out publicly, 20 when I initially told my dad
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? I was 15 years old
  • How did your family react? My family has been very supportive of my lifestyle choices.
  • Do you label yourself? I label myself in private but not in public i.e., I know I’m an Aggressive Femme and not a stud or a regular femme.
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? The misconception I would want to get rid of is that all people in the LGBTQ are dysfunctional due to being abused or hurt by the opposite sex.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? I think we can help the LGBTQ Youth by being examples of what healthy LGBTQ adults look like.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? I think I was born with the attraction to women, however was raised to believe that I should be with a man.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I feel there are people who bash homosexuality from the religious sector who are only doing so because they are hiding their fear of being “outed”.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I’m pregnant and plan to teach my children about all aspects of love so they can understand that there is no right and wrong if the love is real and pure.
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? I choose my experiences and teach from the lessons I learn.

Pariah Review

Saint Louis finally got the movie… a couple of friends and I went on opening day… Not many people were there, I’ll say a good 20 people…… that’s pushing it. Of course there were more white people than African American… this is a movie that I feel everyone should see no matter your sexual orientation, however, I do feel that LBGTQ’s needs to see it more….These words are my opinions, please go watch the movie for yourself to get a better understanding.

Pariah:

http://focusfeatures.com/pariah/photos

Alike–played by Adepero Oduye, a young African American woman, senior year of high school, and apart of a family that is full of silent dysfunction.

Which starts with her parents.

Mother Audrey—played by Kim Wayans is overbearing and controlling.

Father Arthur—played by Charles Parnell non-existent because he does not want to be with mother. He’s a police officer and uses that to his advantage, and is never home.

Alike’s younger sister Sharonda—played by Sahra Melesse is the “prodigal” child according to her mother.. she happens to love being a “girl” …

Alike is identifying to be more masculine.

Alikes close friend, Laura—played by Pernell Walker a stud… who is in love with Alike but refuses to tell her (I was able to sense some liking from the first interaction).

Alike’s mother Audrey does not like Laura because she feels that she is influencing her in a negative way.  Audrey is odd, she has issues communicating, in a scene while she was at work on lunch, she is very uncomfortable being around people.  I believe it’s because of low and lack of self-esteem that she never handled from the past, plus having to deal with her husband cheating but not wanting to divorce, add that with her two children being aggravated with her.

Alike mother forces her to become friends with one of her co-workers daughter Bina—played by Aasha Davis, Audrey thinks Bina will have a “positive” influence on Alike… Bina however, is a wild child.  So much so that Bina ends up being Alike’s first and breaking her heart, because she just wanted to chill and have sex.  Even though Alike’s feelings were hurt, that moment was all of the confirmation that she needed.  She knew from that first kiss that the feelings she’d been having were indeed real.

Alike acknowledged that she was a lesbian.  She found her voice.

Her mother proceeds to beat her, Alike packs up some clothes and goes to stay with Laura.  Audrey goes on with life as if nothing happened and the next scene while they are eating dinner Sharonda mentions to her father that he needs to go find Alike.  Alike finds out that she can graduate high school early, and asks her father to sign the paperwork.  Alike goes to her mother’s job to tell her she loved her and to let her know of her plans, Audrey acts as if she is not there, and tells her she will pray for her then walks away.  Alike moves across country to attend a prestigious college writing program..

This film hits on many issues in the African American family..acting as if everything is alright when deep down you know it’s not. Numerous stereotypes are throughout this movie. Some of the stereotypes maybe true for some, but false for others. The point is light being shown on the issues in our families. Homosexuality is not a disease and I do not feel that it is wrong.  God made me and I know for a fact that he did not make any mistakes when he designed me. I know that the family issues when it comes to acknowledging your child is “different” and not going the way you want them to go are in my family. I have talked openly about how my family has responded to me coming out, although I have not been disowned, they have moments when the words they let come out of their mouth equate to diarrhea.  I have no control over that so I continue to live my life.. As it would be pleasing to God, not man.

Website link again… http://focusfeatures.com/pariah


LGBT LOVE: Danielle Pope


  • Name and Location – My name is Danielle Pope, I am 23 years old and a current resident of Virginia Beach, VA
  • How old were you when you “came out”? – I didn’t officially come out to my family until my junior year in high school, so I was 16/17 years old…Even though my attraction was exceedingly obvious at such a youthful age.
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? – At only 8 years old
  • How did your family react? – Oh Man! You would have thought the world was going to end. I have had my family tell me I am doomed to hell. My father had a strong disgust with my sexuality …  and still does till this very day. My grandparents suggest I seek a psychiatrist for my “issue”. My newly reformed mother doesn’t understand it … but at least she accepts it. As far as my sexuality and my family goes, I can only really confide in my sisters and my younger brother-they love me for me.
  • Do you label yourself? – Yes, I label myself confidently as a lesbian. No, I don’t believe that labels make the person because there are deeper treasures to me than just to be defined and enclosed to my sexuality. I do believe that in whatever you are or whatever you do … HAVE CONFIDENCE and have NO shame!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? – That gay people are supposed to look a certain way. It makes me cringe when people comment and infamously say “you’re too pretty to be gay”.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? – By being an inspiration by sharing my stories and my struggles. Showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? – Yes, he made me this way and it was without mistake.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing? – So many of these so-called and self titled Christians shed hate, judgment and cruelty on our lifestyles. I don’t understand how a place that is suppose to accept and love anyone can be so cold hearted and evil? It is sad, because we are children of God. Religion is a touchy topic…many feel that if they aren’t living right or up to specific standards that they are automatically sentenced to hell. What makes these people so much better than anyone in the LGBTQ community and gives anyone the right to ridicule our lives? God is the only judge.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? – No, I don’t have any children. I plan on having some in the future!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? – I find joy in the little things life has to offer. As long as I have peace within myself, living life to the best of its ability, putting a smile on the faces of people that I love and uplifting others … then there’s no question in my positivity.
  • Where can we find you on the web? — You can find me along with my written articles on DMVculture.com (please check it out and support). Also, on Facebook- Danielle Pope Twitter-@culturalFEM and Instagram-@yourfavoritelesbian

 


Meet Tiffany “The Budgetnista”

The Budgetnista Interview


Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche / On a plane and Newark, NJ

1.  What is your passion in life?

To live a purposeful, passionate life and to help others along the way.  Oh and traveling.

2.  What is your current job?

I’m self employed as a fun, financial literacy coach (heavy emphasis on the fun).

3.  Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission?

C.L.D. (Control, Lead, Develop) Financial Life / The Budgetnista

The mission and vision of my firm CLD /The Budgetnista is to teach all of my clients how to Live Richer (to purposely and passionately pursue your ideal life). Personal finance is one of the tools I use to achieve this goal.

4.  Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

Of course!

– Not being able to make enough money to support myself

– Lack of knowledge

– The opinion of others

– Making mistakes and their subsequent consequences.

– My unknown future

5.  Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes, I was insecure about my abilities. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of delivering on the promises rendered. I’ve since learn to under-promise and over-deliver.

6.  Describe your brand in one word.

Possible

7.  Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

Yes. I was fired from my very first speaking engagement because of a tweet. After being hired by the company to do a series of financial literacy seminars, I excitedly went on twitter and tweeted the details of the job in a reckless and arrogant way. I’m ashamed to say it but I tweeted:

 

“___________ company in _____, NJ just hired me to speak & I’m getting paid doctor rates!!”

 

I can laugh about it now, but they weren’t laughing. Someone in their corporate office found the tweet and faxed it to the location were I was to speak. I was immediately un-hired and told that I was a security risk and that I showed very poor judgment in bragging about the rate we agreed upon. Needless to say, I felt terrible.

The lessons I learned from that embarrassing experience are, the power of social media and the importance of humility.

8.  Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

My target consumers have chosen me, so no, I wouldn’t want to change them. Although I have customers from every demographic imaginable, the overwhelming majority are professional women of color ages 21-40.

9.  What inspires you?

Books

My motherland; Nigeria, Africa

My failures, my successes

10. Who inspires you?

My parents

Dream Catchers: My entrepreneur friends

My 4 sisters

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

There is NO plan B.

I was not built to be ordinary

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now?

Although I have a long way to go, I’m just were I should be. To me, success is just as much about the journey as it is the arrival. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the ride.

The only real change that I’d make right now, is that I’d really like an active mentor.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Live Richer: purposefully and passionately pursue your ideal life.

It doesn’t make sense to wait to live ideally “one day”.  Figure out how you can get your Happy now, and do it.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I read A LOT. A good book can be a reprieve to help me recharge, give me new ideas, and push me to stretch my abilities.

I also study successful people. Some well known and famous, but most are not.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

Yes, the biggest one was convincing clients to take a chance on an unknown brand, The Budgetnista. Finances are difficult enough to share, but especially with someone you don’t know.

Another obstacle was writing and self-publishing my book, The One Week Budget. I cried so many times!

When you self-publish you have to do EVERYTHING; write, get the cover and inside pages designed, market yourself, figure out printing and pricing, and pay for everything.

It was one of the hardest times in my life because I didn’t have a road map and no one I knew had done it before me so I stumbled around in the dark. It was also one of my most rewarding experiences and I now help coach other authors on how to navigate the process.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

On my site: http://thebudgetnista.biz/