When you sit back and think back to the years when you were in grade school through high school, what do you remember the most? DO you remember bullying, having sex in the corner stairwell hall, being made fun of because you didn’t have the “in” clothes, getting good grades, tutoring or getting tutored, being mentored by someone older ??
Now think about where you are now, and the conversations that your sisters, cousins, brothers, nephews, or nieces are having?
Are you worried that they are getting the wrong information?
I am… and I mentor..
When a teenager asks ‘What does fucking feel like” what should you say? I can remember thinking about questions like this when I was a teenager. I remember hearing my auntie telling me that sex is emotional and feels great when it is with the right person. So again… what should we tell our young ladies when they ask questions like the one above?
Other questions I have been asked:
Can you take me to get an abortion?
Can you buy me some condoms?
Can you tell my mom that I am NOT having sex if she asks you?
What does getting and giving head feel like?
Is it okay to reuse condoms?
I thought sex is supposed to feel good, why does it hurt?
YOU get the point.. and these are questions from teens who are actively having sex and they are confused about the whole idea of having sex..
I have been mentoring since I was 15 with the neighborhood cheerleading team under my Aunt who was the head coach. These girls were asking me questions about sex that I’d never heard of.. they just assumed that I knew and I am sure I led them the wrong way a couple of times. Butttt it was good to have older friends and to be smart. See I was in honor courses and the upperclassmen were in just about all of my classes soooo I learned and took notes… I first found out about orgasms, oral sex, SEX, and more SEX…You get the picture..(I truly don’t know if that was a good or bad thing..)
When mentoring a young woman it is your job to provide her with the correct tools and mind frame to help her along her way. I talk, do activities, give homework (and expect it to be done), and spend time. I am consistent with them, and I let them know that nothing is off limits, meaning no questions or topics are too personal. The purpose of me mentoring young women is to help shape and mold them into honest women of our future. Our youth is hurting tremendously.. and Amber Cole is not the first teen to do something that her boyfriend asked of her because she thought she was in love, teens and “adults” do these type of behaviors daily. BUT the question is WHY are our teens feeling like they must give head or have sex to fit in.
I know that I am in the minority when I say that children should be sheltered… my grandmother raised me that way and I believe I came out just fine, of course I had a little bumps along the way, but her strictness was for the better. I grew up in Chicago…we know about the statistics for STDs, STIs, HIV/AIDS there.. I know live in St. Louis and the rates are astronomical in the high schools. These rates will NOT leave until we get real about mentoring, and teaching our teens safe sex and abstinence.
Think about how you can help a teenager out, and make sure that they are going to be prepared for this world that we are living in..
Thank you for reading..