Helping vs. Condemning

Back in 2011 we learned of Amber Cole.

I found out about this 14 year old child who has been misguided and I took up for her like she was my little sister, cousin, or mentee. I did (and will do it again for someone else) so because grown women were calling her all types of names and saying that she “was a fast little (insert your derogatory word of choice)” I did not and still do not agree with those statements. Yes, she was filmed giving head to a young boy who was in her class outside and could have looked like she enjoyed it (I don’t know did not watch the video because I don’t feel that I should participate in watching child pornography)

 

Here are some reasons and questions as to why we know about her (and most importantly, why weren’t these students in school and why didn’t their prospective teachers notice they were missing):

 

  1. Ignorant little boys using technology and watching like it was a freak show.
  2. How has her life been so far growing up? Meaning was she molested, did she watch others have sex, was she taught about self-esteem, was she taught about self worth, did her mother tell her she betta not be fucking but she heard and saw her mother doing the same. All of these scenarios should be included into the fact that she was acting out for attention.
  3. Was she bullied or made fun of? This question matters because peer pressure is REAL in case none of you knew, also did this guy force her to come outside and give him head. Force? Yes, force meaning he would tell people that she did it when she really did not so she would still be made fun of and ostracized so she went ahead and did it. Now she is being called hoe/slut all over the United States.. (How soon do you GROWN people forget that you used to do the same activities.. Some of you gave head or was being fast and got caught kissing at school and was caught on the camera or you knew where the cameras were NOT placed and was able to get away with it. How about looking in the mirror before condemning this child)

 

Now let’s talk about solutions so that there will not be another Amber Cole in this technology advanced world.

  1. This is the number one way to help out our teens whom are misguided and look to the media whether it’s the television or internet for information. This is truer that you may want to admit. We have the boom of rappers talking about how they “banged some hoe” the night before.. have rappers talking about how “you can have whatever you like” but you gotta do something for it be it sex or begging. Think about how you can help one teen out instead of talking about how “fast they are”
  2. Blogging about positive things and posting it for teens to see. Going to places where they are and cutting out sheets of paper with your blog site, giving them five reasons why they should visit. If you draw them in, you will have their attention. Reading about self-worth, self-esteem, healthy relationships, safe sex, physical fitness, and etc will be a great outlet for them.
  3. Stop posting sex-a-pades and tips for teens to see. Not saying you cannot be who you are, but limiting this can be a huge help for them. Remember me saying that the internet is where they are going for information.
  4. Speaking about how to have healthy sex and relationships and talk about abstinence but NOT just that. Telling a 16 year old that they should not have sex is just like telling your 28-year-old self that you can’t have a cupcake. It is going o happen so instead of ignoring it, how about we provide healthy avenues for them to come and ask questions.

All of these tips work, I know from experience have younger cousins and two mentees. When you are a positive light you will draw individuals to you and our teens need more positive avenues. They are not seeing enough, they have stressors coming across their eyes daily, from not being “cute” enough, “skinny” enough, “popular” enough, “smart” enough when in reality these life lessons should be coming from home. BUT they are not. Therefore, WE as a community has to step in to help. Think about being apart of the solution and not problem.


Motivational Speaker / Workshops

I started this website to help promote myself, others who are amazing, and to build my brand.  I am now ready to stop the talking and start the doing. Everyone who knows me, knows that I had multiple trials and tribulations growing up as a child and that I am still working on those said issues….but that I also want to help others heal by talking to about about my experiences. I went through some necessary changes, but those changes could have been gone through differently if I wasn’t afraid to speak out. My goal is to help others not be afraid and to help them end that pain in a healthier way.

Everyone knows that I love to talk.

I want to start talking for a reason.

See Below:

Javania is on a mission who refuses to be defined by her past. Her passion is to help others free themselves from the chains that bind them, while steering them on a path of wholeness. Having overcome a childhood filled with molestation, and enduring the loss of her mother at 16, Javania knows first hand the dark prison if suicidal thoughts stemming from the sense of helplessness accompanied by low self-esteem.

Schools, Churches, Non-Profit Organizations if you have a day where you can have workshops to help the youth deal with Self-Esteem, Peer Pressure, Safe Sex, Abstinence, Rape/Molestation then, contact me!!

*Topics are not comprehensive and can be tailored to meet the needs of your program.

*The workshop includes a Journal made by Javania and Pens for the students to write with.

Javania is “Empowering Through Experience”: A Speaker on Worth Seeking, Inspirational Speaking, and Empowerment Teaching”

Website:
www.javaniamwebb.com
Twitter: JavaniaMWebb
Facebook: javania.m.webbInc


Self-Worth: Part One

When I look in the mirror I always look straight at my eyes first… If I am in one of my moods where I am feeling down, my eyes usually water. If I am in one of my moods where I am perfectly content, my eyes usually water.  If I am in one of my moods where I am being goofy, my eyes usually water. I have noticed this watering of my eyes when I look directly into them since I was 19. I think (don’t know if this is the real reason) this is because I LOVE what I see now.

19 is not that long ago, half of 19 and all of the years under… I would not look in the mirror because I was afraid to look back at the reflection that was “ugly”.

Growing up I hated to look at myself.

1. I had bad acne. From as early as I can remember I always had pimples and blackheads that loved to pop up on my young adolescent face.. I do not know what I was always the brink of my “friends” and classmates jokes but I was. Maybe because I was always outspoken but unpopular.

1b. I had scares from the acne that I picked at. I watched my cousins put toothpaste on their pimples and it magically go away, so I tried doing the same and every time I failed. I was told over and over again to leave my face alone, but something in me really felt that if I was to make the pimples go away, I would make the jokes go away.. WRONG.

2. I looked exactly like my mother. I did not want to see my mother because I had so much angst for her. I felt abandoned by her so why would I want to look like the woman who did not want me?

3. I felt that my nose covered my face.  In all actuality my nose was not that big, but in my mind it was and yes I was overly dramatic… You, know I was in the drama club for a reason! Certified Drama Queen Right HERE :-0)

4. I felt that I was dirty because of being raped/molested and being threatened to not tell anyone, I had to hold that pain inside for years and when I did finally say something I was asked “Well, why did you wait until now to say something, that’s odd” In my mind it did not matter when I spoke up, what mattered was that I got that pain off of me so that I could begin to heal. I was also told that I was lying on more than one occasion.  (How’s that for someone who already has low self-worth and is trying to build it up?)

This is Part One just wait for the next one! 🙂

How is your self-worth?  Has it always been as strong as it is now?