Correction of Self ?

DISCLAIMER: I don’t claim to know everything and I don’t claim to be an expert. I am however someone who used to hate looking at myself in the mirror, I used to hate what everything about me looked like. I used to tell myself I wanted to just die. Below are TWO exercises that I DID for myself to get out of the rut and negative place that I was in. These exercises may not work for YOU. You have to get into the habit of finding out about YOU and how YOU will respond to retraining your mind to be positive.

 

Exercise 1:

It is important to be honest with yourself; you have to answer to your eyes and God (if you believe or if you believe in something else). Write out things that you fear then write out why, and then steps that you will take to get rid of your fear. Being fearful holds you stagnant in your growth and makes you comfortable. You never want to be okay with not changing and facing fears. You have to learn to overcome your fears. Lying allows you to not change. If you really sit down and figure out what bothers and scares you, life will become better.

Exercise 2:

Everyday for thirty minutes write down something that you feel you need to change about yourself, why, and how you plan to make these changes. There needs to be at least four steps on how you plan to make these changes in your life.

 

 


Motivational Speaker / Workshops

I started this website to help promote myself, others who are amazing, and to build my brand.  I am now ready to stop the talking and start the doing. Everyone who knows me, knows that I had multiple trials and tribulations growing up as a child and that I am still working on those said issues….but that I also want to help others heal by talking to about about my experiences. I went through some necessary changes, but those changes could have been gone through differently if I wasn’t afraid to speak out. My goal is to help others not be afraid and to help them end that pain in a healthier way.

Everyone knows that I love to talk.

I want to start talking for a reason.

See Below:

Javania is on a mission who refuses to be defined by her past. Her passion is to help others free themselves from the chains that bind them, while steering them on a path of wholeness. Having overcome a childhood filled with molestation, and enduring the loss of her mother at 16, Javania knows first hand the dark prison if suicidal thoughts stemming from the sense of helplessness accompanied by low self-esteem.

Schools, Churches, Non-Profit Organizations if you have a day where you can have workshops to help the youth deal with Self-Esteem, Peer Pressure, Safe Sex, Abstinence, Rape/Molestation then, contact me!!

*Topics are not comprehensive and can be tailored to meet the needs of your program.

*The workshop includes a Journal made by Javania and Pens for the students to write with.

Javania is “Empowering Through Experience”: A Speaker on Worth Seeking, Inspirational Speaking, and Empowerment Teaching”

Website:
www.javaniamwebb.com
Twitter: JavaniaMWebb
Facebook: javania.m.webbInc


Two Men..

[youtube=http://youtu.be/V92tbalSTm0]

 

I came across this video on my twitter feed and I first read the comments on the blog post which were good and bad then watched the video for myself.

One, FABULOUS!

Second, the song playing is the song I want to walk down the aisle to.

Third, where can I find these men so that they can help me plan my wedding?

Four, as the words say, “IF THIS ISN’T LOVE THEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS”!!!!!!

I really do not understand the problem individuals have with two people of the same sex getting married.  Everyone wants to bring God into the equation, well first God is the first one to say do not judge, so you are disobeying him all together. I understand everyone will not agree with me and others who are attracted to the same sex but what harm is it doing you?  Just like in heterosexual relationships you all are not having sex 24/7, the same goes for homosexual relationships. Are relationships have substance and we have dreams of taking over in our perspective careers as well.  Stop trying to control feelings and emotions that are not going to go anywhere…

This is for you, YOU who feel the need to preach to homosexuals myself included every chance you get…


Self-Worth: Part Two

If you have not read Part One, please do so first.. (click on the link)

As I said in Part One growing up I hated to look in the mirror, I avoided it at all costs.. I simply refused to look back at my reflection…. When I left Maywood and traveled to Edwardsville for college I did not think that I was going to go through changes immediately. I had people in my life who challenged the childish things I did on a daily basis and had no choice but to start to look at myself.

I slowly started to look in the mirror from bottom up because it wasn’t just my face that I had issues with. Once I got accustomed to looking at my feet, thighs, stomach, arms, and breasts I then moved to different parts of my face slowly spending 30 days looking at the different parts.. I spent 30 days (per feature) on lips, eyes, nose, skin, and eyebrows because my face was the problem I had the most issues with.  I would say something positive every day about whatever feature I was on and if I started to think negative thoughts I would stop and pray then start over with my positive affirmations.  I have since used this exercise with my clients and it does work!

If you are in a bad space where you need help learning to love and cherish  yourself try the exercise and let me know if it worked for you!

 


Self-Worth: Part One

When I look in the mirror I always look straight at my eyes first… If I am in one of my moods where I am feeling down, my eyes usually water. If I am in one of my moods where I am perfectly content, my eyes usually water.  If I am in one of my moods where I am being goofy, my eyes usually water. I have noticed this watering of my eyes when I look directly into them since I was 19. I think (don’t know if this is the real reason) this is because I LOVE what I see now.

19 is not that long ago, half of 19 and all of the years under… I would not look in the mirror because I was afraid to look back at the reflection that was “ugly”.

Growing up I hated to look at myself.

1. I had bad acne. From as early as I can remember I always had pimples and blackheads that loved to pop up on my young adolescent face.. I do not know what I was always the brink of my “friends” and classmates jokes but I was. Maybe because I was always outspoken but unpopular.

1b. I had scares from the acne that I picked at. I watched my cousins put toothpaste on their pimples and it magically go away, so I tried doing the same and every time I failed. I was told over and over again to leave my face alone, but something in me really felt that if I was to make the pimples go away, I would make the jokes go away.. WRONG.

2. I looked exactly like my mother. I did not want to see my mother because I had so much angst for her. I felt abandoned by her so why would I want to look like the woman who did not want me?

3. I felt that my nose covered my face.  In all actuality my nose was not that big, but in my mind it was and yes I was overly dramatic… You, know I was in the drama club for a reason! Certified Drama Queen Right HERE :-0)

4. I felt that I was dirty because of being raped/molested and being threatened to not tell anyone, I had to hold that pain inside for years and when I did finally say something I was asked “Well, why did you wait until now to say something, that’s odd” In my mind it did not matter when I spoke up, what mattered was that I got that pain off of me so that I could begin to heal. I was also told that I was lying on more than one occasion.  (How’s that for someone who already has low self-worth and is trying to build it up?)

This is Part One just wait for the next one! 🙂

How is your self-worth?  Has it always been as strong as it is now?


Dating vs. Family

Dating vs. Family

You vs. Dating vs. Family

Person you’re dating vs. Family

Heterosexual Dating vs. Homosexual Dating

Heterosexual Family vs. Dating vs. Homosexual Family vs. Dating

 

Either way, two different upbringings coming together will often have issues to work through because not everyone is raised the same! There are differences, actions, ideas, beliefs etc. that some people are not willing to accept… Who says that your family must accept the person you’re dating? Who says that the person you’re dating must accept your family? Is that an unspoken rule? Is that mutual respect? Then what happens if neither parties wants to do the latter?  Is one person just stuck with having to chose between family and the person that they are dating?

 
What insight do you have on dating that you can give?


Meet Brittany Polk!

Name and Location

Britany Polk

1.    What is your passion in life?

My passion is to be a successful creative director/designer/stylist lol.  I love helping people, especially when it involves clothing and accessory choices.

2.    What is your current job?

I currently work as an accounting assistant in a law firm.  This by no means is my career.  It’s that “I needed a job out of college and this is what I came up with” instance.  I received my Masters in Integrated Marketing Communications and am looking to utilize that degree in the creative field.  So now I am on a serious job hunt (anyone in the Chicago area can definitely forward me any job openings if you hear of anything lol).

3.    Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? 

I did take a leap of faith and launched my own business called Luxcheri, pronounced “luxury” with Cheri being my middle name.   Right now it is a compilation of handmade jewelry and accessories along with vintage jewelry.  I plan to add my own clothing line and reconstructed/thrifted vintage clothing, but I am starting small first in order to build a solid customer base.  The mission is to provide unique options for anyone’s styling needs, whether it’s with jewelry or clothing.  I am all about one-of-a-kind pieces because it allows people to express their personal style without being cookie cutter.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

I have what you call kakorrhaphiophobia, fear of failing.  I know I am not the only one.  Sometimes, that gets the best of my and like in so many past projects, I would just give up.  But this time, I am like, what the heck, if I fail, at least I tried and I can always try again until I succeed.  After all success is nothing without failure.  So this time in my endeavors, I am really pushing myself to go beyond the limits and just produce things that I like and stick with it, good or bad.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes!! I always get this feeling that people will not like what I produce and that scares me.  Often times, I hold back more in those instances rather than just letting it be.  I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into the pieces I create, so just like anyone else, I always want to hear good feedback.  But I have realized everyone rocks to the rhythm of their own drum, so I have to understand some people will like it and some people won’t.  I just make sure I go hard for those who do like it.

6.    Describe your brand in one word.

Powerful

7.    Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

I have failed many times, so it’s hard to pick just one instance, but if I had to pick one, it would be not going for my dream in the beginning.  What I mean by that is, I wish I would have followed my heart when deciding on college.  Don’t get me wrong, college is and has been very great to me, but I just wish I would have went to fashion school instead of the traditional college.  I let people get into my head saying it’s going to be hard, not enough money, blah, blah, blah.  If I had followed my own heart, I think I would have been better off.  So I would consider that a failure, not following my own heart.  But now I try to listen to my gut instincts and just go for what I like instead of letting others persuade me.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

Urban professionals are my target consumer.  I don’t think I would change this.  I think urban professionals have a lot of purchasing power, which is a very good thing.

9.    What inspires you?

This is a hard question because it is literally everything from color to art or even random people on the bus or walking down the street as I go to work.  I love looking at things and picking them apart to see what else it can become.

10. Who inspires you?

I have a few people who inspire me.

My mom – for her creativity and sense of style.  I learned a lot from her.

My pooh Felix – for his motivation, drive, and positive reinforcement that actually helped me jump start my business.

Aunt Bonita – the most outgoing and creative woman you’ll ever meet. She keeps it real all the time and she’s herself without any regrets.

Andrea aka Peachie – She is a very influential and inspirational person in my life as she is a young entrepreneur who has really been a mentor to me in helping me start my journey.

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

I am always trying to figure out what’s next and how can I make it unique.  Everyone and their momma create jewelry or clothing to some capacity and what I don’t ever want to do is copy or mimic someone else.  I always want it to be a reflection of me.  I have found that hard as some of the bracelets I create are similar to other designers, and that is one of the main reasons I decided to expand outside of that.  I like things to be my own.  Of course if my customers ask for something, I make it happen, but I always try to put my own twist on things.

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? 

The monotony.  I like to be moving around, not stuck at a desk entering in data all day, and that’s pretty much what I do.  It becomes very hard on some days when there is absolutely nothing to do.  I want a job that I actually look forward to going to everyday.  But as of now, I have to be thankful that I have a job.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Go for what you know and what you like.  Once you get that mindset, nothing can really stop you at that point.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I look at my current situation and ask myself is this what I want to be doing in the next 5, 10, 15 years and then I kick it into high tail gear and start sketching and creating.  I want to enjoy my life, not be a negative Nancy about why nothing is going right.  You have to enjoy life.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

I think during this whole process, I have had to become more talkative.  I tend to be a tad quiet and very modest/shy when it comes to projects I am working on or am a part of. It’s weird because a part of me does like the limelight, and then the other part is like, no it’s too much.  But I definitely have been coming out of my shell more and that’s pretty big for me.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

I am working on getting my website together as we speak. The launch  date was suppose to be on August 17th, an ode to my mother for her birthday, but there have been some technical difficulties that have come up. So I am planning to launch in a couple of weeks.  I at least hope to be running on August 31.

Website: www.shopluxcheri.com

Instagram: luxcheri

Twitter: @luxcheri

Blog: www.luxcheri.blogspot.com


Day 30:

Your highs and lows of this month:

Highs:

Spending time with and getting to know the real personality of my friend (let’s call her Hazel Eyes).

Coming to grips with my finances and TRULY working on getting them together.

Having insurance to handle doctor appointments and the such.

Applying to a Gender Studies Certificate Program which is the lead way to a PH.D program .

Getting a WONDERFUL recommendation from my supervisor at CHS when I thought/felt that she hadn’t noticed any of my growth since being hired.

Started therapy. Again.

Had my first ‘party’  strategically named “Javania’s Get Together and you know I made a hashtag.. LoL

Found out that I am having a new nephew!!!! 🙂

Figuring out and accepting my niche for my business.

Lows:

Seeing the actual number figure of said messed up financial issues.

Finding out that I failed the most important class of my Graduate Program and not getting my diploma until I retake.

Got VERY annoyed that my closest friends were not in attendance at said party.

Came to terms that I am in the position because I am not truly listening to what God is telling me.

 

As you can see I did not have many lows this month which is a blessing. I enjoyed doing this challenge and I really liked doing this particular post.  I will like to incorporate a HIGHS/LOWS post monthly so that I can see in writing that I am blessed beyond measure! (no matter how much I think I am not at times).  I am still working on getting the new site built, it’s actually almost done but I had some financial setbacks but no worries, it will be done soon and I cannot wait to reveal!! If you missed out on the challenge, have no worries you can start the 30 days whenever you want to.. Just click on the link below to get Sunny’s explanation 🙂

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.