Correction of Self ?

DISCLAIMER: I don’t claim to know everything and I don’t claim to be an expert. I am however someone who used to hate looking at myself in the mirror, I used to hate what everything about me looked like. I used to tell myself I wanted to just die. Below are TWO exercises that I DID for myself to get out of the rut and negative place that I was in. These exercises may not work for YOU. You have to get into the habit of finding out about YOU and how YOU will respond to retraining your mind to be positive.

 

Exercise 1:

It is important to be honest with yourself; you have to answer to your eyes and God (if you believe or if you believe in something else). Write out things that you fear then write out why, and then steps that you will take to get rid of your fear. Being fearful holds you stagnant in your growth and makes you comfortable. You never want to be okay with not changing and facing fears. You have to learn to overcome your fears. Lying allows you to not change. If you really sit down and figure out what bothers and scares you, life will become better.

Exercise 2:

Everyday for thirty minutes write down something that you feel you need to change about yourself, why, and how you plan to make these changes. There needs to be at least four steps on how you plan to make these changes in your life.

 

 


Embracing Who You TRULY Are

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

When you look into your eyes, do you like what you see?

When someone else looks at you, do you get uncomfortable?

When you look at someone else, do you wish you looked like them?

When will YOU be enough for YOU?

Remember the old school saying: “You must love yourself before someone else can love you”

This saying should always be at the fore front of your life because it is true.

  • I remember at 7 years old at school being made fun of because I was in the bathroom putting on a pad and my classmates looking under and over the stalls laughing at pointing at me.
  • I remember being 9 years old being called a pizza face because I had severe acne and one of my “close friends” being the main one to start that laughter.
  • I remember being 13 years old sensing something was different about me because I was sitting next to my best friend and feeling a sensation in my body that I knew would get me in trouble.
  • I remember being 17 years old sneaking my high school boyfriend in the house while my grandmother was at work, learning the art of faking a orgasm, and being into men.
  • I also remember the pain I felt on the inside.. the lie I was creating would haunt me until I became strong enough to face the adversity that many LGBT members face..
  • I remember crying myself to sleep.
  • I remember hating the way I looked.

I also remember going to the mirror the same night that I tried to commit suicide and feeling a calm flow over me. I believe it was God talking to me saying that I was enough.

I was beautiful.

I was not left over trash.

I deserved to be me in the light and in the dark.

 

At 19 years old a true transformation took over for me. I started thinking positive. I started saying positive things to myself. I started dealing with childhood issues and the fact that I was lying to myself denying the attraction that I had to women. I got back to volunteering, and I prepared myself for what was to come.

Empowering is something that I do through my story.

You never know what someone is going through or what someone one has gone though previously.   Do your best to keep a positive flow through out your life. Once negative starts to flow, it will be in charge before you know it. Don’t let the negative things; people, and places take control.

End friendships if you have to.. You must be in control of what you want to deal will. If you have a negative perception of yourself, figure out why. You were born to be you, and no one else.

 

So again…

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

When you look into your eyes, do you like what you see?

When someone else looks at you, do you get uncomfortable?

When you look at someone else, do you wish you looked like them?

When will YOU be enough for YOU?

 


Motivational Speaker / Workshops

I started this website to help promote myself, others who are amazing, and to build my brand.  I am now ready to stop the talking and start the doing. Everyone who knows me, knows that I had multiple trials and tribulations growing up as a child and that I am still working on those said issues….but that I also want to help others heal by talking to about about my experiences. I went through some necessary changes, but those changes could have been gone through differently if I wasn’t afraid to speak out. My goal is to help others not be afraid and to help them end that pain in a healthier way.

Everyone knows that I love to talk.

I want to start talking for a reason.

See Below:

Javania is on a mission who refuses to be defined by her past. Her passion is to help others free themselves from the chains that bind them, while steering them on a path of wholeness. Having overcome a childhood filled with molestation, and enduring the loss of her mother at 16, Javania knows first hand the dark prison if suicidal thoughts stemming from the sense of helplessness accompanied by low self-esteem.

Schools, Churches, Non-Profit Organizations if you have a day where you can have workshops to help the youth deal with Self-Esteem, Peer Pressure, Safe Sex, Abstinence, Rape/Molestation then, contact me!!

*Topics are not comprehensive and can be tailored to meet the needs of your program.

*The workshop includes a Journal made by Javania and Pens for the students to write with.

Javania is “Empowering Through Experience”: A Speaker on Worth Seeking, Inspirational Speaking, and Empowerment Teaching”

Website:
www.javaniamwebb.com
Twitter: JavaniaMWebb
Facebook: javania.m.webbInc


Pain

Pain….

Comes in different sizes, form, shapes and usually it does not care how it infiltrates your life but it’s up to you how you decide to handle said pain. Just about everyone has a story of pain to tell, whether it be from childhood, teens, young adult, or adulthood it’s their pain and they must own it before it owns them.

Some may scratch their heads and ask, How would one do this?

Simple, take control and get through the pain the best way you know how. It won’t be easy and for some it maybe harder than others, but if you have a goal to let the pain do then work at it until you have control over how your pain comes to you.

As a race, a minority race, we cannot continue to let the pain of of past control our lives here in the present because then, it will eat away at us like acid for our future.

The choice is yours. Which one do you choose?


Self-Of-Steem: Natural Hair

I have been natural for almost seven years now.. AGAIN.. I was raised with out a relaxer and getting my hair pressed in high school. I was a cheerleader and my hair would always sweat out and would never move the way my counterparts hair moved in the wind because it was fully of pressing grease. After begging and begging and more begging my  grandmother agreed to let me get a relaxer .

My hair was never the same.

It wasn’t growing the way it was prior to the relaxer, but oh it sure was moving in the wind and it was moving right on out of my scalp when combed. I regretted getting a relaxer but I COULD not let my granny at the time know that she was correct. I was in the “good hair” crowd because my hair was not curling up anymore when I got rained on during games.. It was still straight.. stringy but straight. I started experimenting with hair color and my hair still was falling right on out,but being the low self-of-steem young teen I was I ignored it and kept saying well it will grow back….

When to college and cut all my hair off to the 2004 “Fantasia” cut, because it was falling out anyway.. Loved that style but grew it out…and got tired of getting my scalp severely burned every time I had to get a “touch up” before you say, well were you doing it right, I was going to the hair salon… I talked to my aunt who had been natural for as long as I could remember and asked her what to do. She stated, get some braids and let your hair grow out, I said okay and went to my hair stylist the next day and simply said, cut it off.

When I first went natural in January of 2006, I cut all my hair off and had a fade..

I liked my small fro, my unruly tightly coiled hair I really did!

Until…..

I let others comments get to me..

Comments like:

“Ugh, why did you cut allllll of your hair off?”

“Wellllll, you way were prettier with straight hair”.

“You should put another relaxer in your hair so it can be longer”.

“Well, why is your hair so nappy”?

“You ain’t gonna never get nobody with that head fully of nappy hair”!

“Just look at this girl, hey you nappy child”.

So I got really self conscious and started to let it mess with my thoughts about myself and started thinking, well they are correct, I was prettier with straight hair. Felling defeated and ugly…on my birthday October 2006, I got a relaxer.

The newness of the relaxer lasted all of 24 hours before I started regretting getting another relaxer and letting others comments decide for me how I felt about myself and my hair. I wrote a pact to myself at that time that, never again would I let someone elses insecurities and comments define who I am and what I do to myself. I also did not get another relaxer and grew my hair out this time which is called transitioning.. I was patient with my two different of textures for about seven months which my hair grew tremendously, but I wanted all of the straight pieces gone, so I did the ‘big chop”. Every since that mishap with my self- of- steem I have not been worried nor cared what others think about me.

I work in a more conservative environment and for the first three months I was self conscious of wearing my hair out because I work predominantly with men who are my clients and I did/do not like the stares that they give me.. However, I can only be me so slowly but surely I started wearing my hair out all the way, while the women I work (co-workers) with love it my clients HATE it.  BINGO.. If I would have known that wearing my hair out would make the stares and attention go away, I would have started off with my hair out.

I do not let anyone tell me how I should look or what I should do to my hair… That’s no one’s decision and if my self-of-steem was still low I would always think twice about what I do..

How is your self-of-steem?

Are you letting others who are not comfortable with themselves dictate how you feel about yourself?

If so, why?

If, so STOP… STOP NOW.


Meet Brittany Polk!

Name and Location

Britany Polk

1.    What is your passion in life?

My passion is to be a successful creative director/designer/stylist lol.  I love helping people, especially when it involves clothing and accessory choices.

2.    What is your current job?

I currently work as an accounting assistant in a law firm.  This by no means is my career.  It’s that “I needed a job out of college and this is what I came up with” instance.  I received my Masters in Integrated Marketing Communications and am looking to utilize that degree in the creative field.  So now I am on a serious job hunt (anyone in the Chicago area can definitely forward me any job openings if you hear of anything lol).

3.    Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? 

I did take a leap of faith and launched my own business called Luxcheri, pronounced “luxury” with Cheri being my middle name.   Right now it is a compilation of handmade jewelry and accessories along with vintage jewelry.  I plan to add my own clothing line and reconstructed/thrifted vintage clothing, but I am starting small first in order to build a solid customer base.  The mission is to provide unique options for anyone’s styling needs, whether it’s with jewelry or clothing.  I am all about one-of-a-kind pieces because it allows people to express their personal style without being cookie cutter.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

I have what you call kakorrhaphiophobia, fear of failing.  I know I am not the only one.  Sometimes, that gets the best of my and like in so many past projects, I would just give up.  But this time, I am like, what the heck, if I fail, at least I tried and I can always try again until I succeed.  After all success is nothing without failure.  So this time in my endeavors, I am really pushing myself to go beyond the limits and just produce things that I like and stick with it, good or bad.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes!! I always get this feeling that people will not like what I produce and that scares me.  Often times, I hold back more in those instances rather than just letting it be.  I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into the pieces I create, so just like anyone else, I always want to hear good feedback.  But I have realized everyone rocks to the rhythm of their own drum, so I have to understand some people will like it and some people won’t.  I just make sure I go hard for those who do like it.

6.    Describe your brand in one word.

Powerful

7.    Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

I have failed many times, so it’s hard to pick just one instance, but if I had to pick one, it would be not going for my dream in the beginning.  What I mean by that is, I wish I would have followed my heart when deciding on college.  Don’t get me wrong, college is and has been very great to me, but I just wish I would have went to fashion school instead of the traditional college.  I let people get into my head saying it’s going to be hard, not enough money, blah, blah, blah.  If I had followed my own heart, I think I would have been better off.  So I would consider that a failure, not following my own heart.  But now I try to listen to my gut instincts and just go for what I like instead of letting others persuade me.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

Urban professionals are my target consumer.  I don’t think I would change this.  I think urban professionals have a lot of purchasing power, which is a very good thing.

9.    What inspires you?

This is a hard question because it is literally everything from color to art or even random people on the bus or walking down the street as I go to work.  I love looking at things and picking them apart to see what else it can become.

10. Who inspires you?

I have a few people who inspire me.

My mom – for her creativity and sense of style.  I learned a lot from her.

My pooh Felix – for his motivation, drive, and positive reinforcement that actually helped me jump start my business.

Aunt Bonita – the most outgoing and creative woman you’ll ever meet. She keeps it real all the time and she’s herself without any regrets.

Andrea aka Peachie – She is a very influential and inspirational person in my life as she is a young entrepreneur who has really been a mentor to me in helping me start my journey.

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

I am always trying to figure out what’s next and how can I make it unique.  Everyone and their momma create jewelry or clothing to some capacity and what I don’t ever want to do is copy or mimic someone else.  I always want it to be a reflection of me.  I have found that hard as some of the bracelets I create are similar to other designers, and that is one of the main reasons I decided to expand outside of that.  I like things to be my own.  Of course if my customers ask for something, I make it happen, but I always try to put my own twist on things.

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? 

The monotony.  I like to be moving around, not stuck at a desk entering in data all day, and that’s pretty much what I do.  It becomes very hard on some days when there is absolutely nothing to do.  I want a job that I actually look forward to going to everyday.  But as of now, I have to be thankful that I have a job.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Go for what you know and what you like.  Once you get that mindset, nothing can really stop you at that point.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I look at my current situation and ask myself is this what I want to be doing in the next 5, 10, 15 years and then I kick it into high tail gear and start sketching and creating.  I want to enjoy my life, not be a negative Nancy about why nothing is going right.  You have to enjoy life.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

I think during this whole process, I have had to become more talkative.  I tend to be a tad quiet and very modest/shy when it comes to projects I am working on or am a part of. It’s weird because a part of me does like the limelight, and then the other part is like, no it’s too much.  But I definitely have been coming out of my shell more and that’s pretty big for me.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

I am working on getting my website together as we speak. The launch  date was suppose to be on August 17th, an ode to my mother for her birthday, but there have been some technical difficulties that have come up. So I am planning to launch in a couple of weeks.  I at least hope to be running on August 31.

Website: www.shopluxcheri.com

Instagram: luxcheri

Twitter: @luxcheri

Blog: www.luxcheri.blogspot.com


Day 29:

Goals for the next 30 days:

I always have goals lined up and sometimes I complete them and sometimes I don’t.  It just depends on how I am feeling.

A few of my goals for the month;

*Open up more to my friend

* Finish second Ebook

*Get mentally prepared for Fall Semester

*Finish application for Spring 2013 (will tell more later)

*Gain new insight on online marketing

*Find a new job

*Continue to become financially stable

 

What about your goals for the next 30 days?

 

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


Day 22:

How have you changed in the past 2 years?

 

I feel that I answered this question on day 18…. Except it was one year…

I work harder now.

I am calm but still will pop off.

I am HAPPY. Wholeheartedly Happy.

I love me more.

I am looking at Ph.D programs.

I am not as materialistic.

I don’t shop all of my emotions away.

I get shy at times.

I don’t care as much about what people think.

I still have a love hate relationship with the gym.. LoL (no change there) but I have made healthier lifestyle changes

 

What about you?

 

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


Day 18:

A picture of you last year and now, and how you have changed since then?

August 2011….

End of July/August 2012

Physically, I have not changed, I have lost a couple of inches but not much has changed.

Mentally, I am stronger and I am learning that if someone wants to talk to me, be in my life, be a friend whatever they have to accept me for who I am and if they don’t want to they can keep it moving.  I have also gotten stronger is learning that everything happens for  reason, I thought it before but I did not BELIEVE it. God places people and situations in your life for a reason and you have to sit still to listen to figure out said reason.

Hair, it fell out because of the color, and now the color is gone, back to growing thick and healthy. I did start locs, but my commitment issues won.

Emotionally, I was a wreck because I was still sad and lonely over my ex now that relationship is the furthest thing from my mind and now I am dating someone who is amazing… 🙂

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.