Two Men..

[youtube=http://youtu.be/V92tbalSTm0]

 

I came across this video on my twitter feed and I first read the comments on the blog post which were good and bad then watched the video for myself.

One, FABULOUS!

Second, the song playing is the song I want to walk down the aisle to.

Third, where can I find these men so that they can help me plan my wedding?

Four, as the words say, “IF THIS ISN’T LOVE THEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS”!!!!!!

I really do not understand the problem individuals have with two people of the same sex getting married.  Everyone wants to bring God into the equation, well first God is the first one to say do not judge, so you are disobeying him all together. I understand everyone will not agree with me and others who are attracted to the same sex but what harm is it doing you?  Just like in heterosexual relationships you all are not having sex 24/7, the same goes for homosexual relationships. Are relationships have substance and we have dreams of taking over in our perspective careers as well.  Stop trying to control feelings and emotions that are not going to go anywhere…

This is for you, YOU who feel the need to preach to homosexuals myself included every chance you get…


Being True to Who YOU Are

Since I’ve been blogging one thing has been consistent… the same… Doing the best I can to be and embrace who I am, not what others feel what or who I should be.

My second workshop title was “Embracing Who You Are”

We talked about getting and becoming comfortable with yourself. If you feel that you have to hide the real you then whats the real issue? I am real good about expressing my views and who I am with friends and strangers…but when it comes to family, I get all quiet tuck my tail and walk away from the issue.. I can no longer continue to do so. I also should not feel like I have to continue to fight with and defend who I am to ANYONE… I am growing and coming into my own.. This topic can transfer to many topics and different relationships.

Communication is important but is difficult…. if you have not been taught how to properly communicate…

PLEASE don’t take that as you do not learn. make sure if you do not know how to communicate, you take that in strides and learn…

If you feel like you cannot be yourself around people, or feel that you have to explain you to others stop and look inside to figure out why.  Once grown, you don’t have to answer to anyone… Remember that!

How do you deal with being your true self no matter what?

Jessie J singing Who YOU ARE acoustic ….a  song that I LOVE soooooo much… Listen to the words. Please..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgMD6btCP1M]


Losing Yourself..

When you meet someone and you hit it off immediately, the connection is there what does it mean when you want to spend every waking moment with that person…… Let’s act as if we do not know what that is or what it means. Lets take it back to the basics…

Infatuation.

Isolation.

Stingy.

Obsession.

Are some of the words we can use for when you meet someone and you forget about everyone else who is in your life. You’re getting to know the person, inside and out, possibly having sex depending on how slow or fast you decide to move and then depending on what the status is you start to get all these fuzzy emotions that may have not been there as soon as they are if you hadn’t had sex…

Let’s face it.

Sex brings about plenty of emotions and it changes things..

 

So how do you avoid loosing yourself?


Black Sheep

When you are born into a family….and mostly everyone is normal.. Normal being Heterosexual in my case, it’s hard being the outcast..

Let me explain…..

I am a proud lesbian, my family feels I am in a phase.. Well let’s just say I have outgrown the phase age stage in my life… The moment I came out of the closet I broke free and have been trying to defend who I was ever since.

Why am I constantly defending who I am though?

This is a question I cannot answer because I have a need to want to be loved.. Loved from my family. I care what my family thinks of me, not people who don’t give two shits nor know who I truly am (let’s get this common miscommunication clear) I think I care so much because my aunts and uncles helped raise me where my mother and father fell short and then when my mother died they stepped in even more. So there’s a different dynamic relationship here…..

However, I have to and must follow the same advice that I give my clients who are dealing with or have dealt with the same issues.

Its simple…

God did not make any mistakes with me.

I am who I am.

I will not change who I am for my family.

I will not hide who I am.

I am in love with Javania.

I will not continue to defend my attraction.

I therefore will not longer feel as if I am the Black Sheep in my family.

 

 

Have you ever felt like the oddball in your family? Share your story below.


Five Love Lanuages…

SINGLES EDITION

(this photo is not the singles edition cover, photo is taken from personal IPhone and the book was paid for by me)

My sis is reading the edition that Gary Chapman intended to be for women and men who are married or engaged to get married..but it seems that single people wanted something to help them in the love department as welllllll…….. When she advised me to get the copy I immediately took offense because I thought she had jokes.. But I am actually glad that she told me about it. I just started this book and I am loving reading every minute of it.. (This is the first book that I am reading on my IPad and it’s not bad)

The premise of the book is for you to fully know your love language before you can know someone else’s love language and that it is okay if your languages do not match, but you have to be willing to fulfill your partners language. Of course the examples are for heterosexual couples, but I do not think that this book excludes homosexual couples. (this is just my opinion, if you know of a book that talks about love and it’s strictly for homosexuals let me know in the comments)

I haven’t gotten to the part where he explains the different languages of love but I am looking forward to finding that out! I will update when I figure out.. 🙂


Love.. What?

Who reading this can raise their hand (don’t worry, I can’t see if you do 🙂 )and say that they automatically knew how to love OR truly knew what love was..

I am in my 20’s and I thought I knew what love was, thought I was madly in love more than once, but in reality I think I was in like and lust…

Which leaves me scratching my head confused as heck..

When asking friends and talking to family about love, the most common response I get is “stop looking and thinking about it and it will come” …

Which in my opinion is harder to say than do when you see it all over and in your face daily… I will say that I am a little envious of my close friends that have love because that is something I want…..But to be honest I really don’t know if I would know if love slapped me in my face because it usually does not come wrapped up in a pretty little bow like we are programmed to think while growing up…

So like my family and friend say, I am going to stop thinking about it…It being love…

 

Please Share below….

🙂


Do YOU need HELP?

For Suicidal Thoughts or Actions?

Do you know someone who has made suicidal comments recently or in the past?

If so please take the time out to read this post and HELP…..

                                                                                                  Image Source

As someone who tried to commit suicide to end the pain I was going through at the time (I thank God daily that  I did not succeed), I always want to help others who are feeling suicidal. I work at a crisis call center for individuals who are suicidal or homicidal. I go out into the community to prevent suicides.  At times it does not always work.  They are too far depressed or was not able to get help sooner.

If you know someone who has said anything to you Suicidal please call the hotline number 1-800-273-8255 to get them some help even if they protest. Suicide is nothing to make light of..

If someone is coming to you saying “odd” things or acting “odd” it is usually a cry for help. Don’t let that cry go unheard. Some individuals don’t want to come out and say the words be it embarrassment or shame. I know that if my college roommate hadn’t walked in when she did, life would be different for me. I never went to my friends and said that I wanted to commit suicide… I was “all smiles and jokes” hurting and rotting on the inside…

If YOU reading this is going through hard times and you want to commit suicide to end the pain I BEG you to try to get help first and know that whatever you are going through right now will get better. You have to work at it and be patient. Please call that hotline number, it’s 24/7 so someone will be there to talk to you any time of the day.

Remember someone loves you. And that someone should start with YOU.

 

Here are some links that you can read to get familiar with suicide:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://healthmad.com/mental-health/myth-and-facts-about-suicide/

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

That Suicidal Hotline Number again is 1-800-273-8255


Meet Nicole Clark

Name and Location: Nicole Clark, New York City

1. What is your passion in life? : My passion centers around educating, including, affirming, and empowering women of color (women who identify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous) to becoming change agents in their lives around sexual and reproductive health. I work to make sure that women of color have equal access to medically accurate throughout the spectrums of sexual and reproductive wellness.
2. What is your current job? : I currently work as a social worker at a national advocacy organization that serves people affected with and by HIV/AIDS and homelessness.

3. Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? : I recently began my consulting business called Nicole Clark Consulting, where my mission is “Infusing Passion & Creativity to Improve the Health and Lives of Women & Girls of Color”. I share my experiences and expertise on sexual health, reproductive justice, advocacy, images of women of color in the media, street harassment, HIV prevention, community organizing, gender-based violence, and self care.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business? : My initial fear was wondering if I had anything to add to this particular field of activism, followed by if I could ever fully get to the point where I can make a substantial living writing, consulting, and speaking on these issues.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business? : As I got more into my blogging and started back conducting workshops and speaking engagements (I took some time off between 2008-2010 to attend graduate school for social work), I started to worry more about my personal brand and how I can strategically set myself apart from others in order to generate better opportunities.

6. Describe your brand in one word. : Empowerment

7. Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them? : I haven’t been in my consulting business for very long, so I don’t have any marked failures yet. I guess one ongoing problem I have is over-extending myself and taking on too many opportunities, which has led to burn-out on occasion. Also, trying to balance my 9-5 with my consulting business is always a challenge.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?: My target audience is women and girls who indentify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous.

9. Who inspires you? : I often get inspiration from women of color who have decided to live life on their own terms. On my blog, I’ve created the Women Making Moves! series, where I interview women of color in various fields who have found passion in their lives and work. I initially began the series as a way to encourage myself, but I’ve found from many of my readers that the interview series is a favorite of theirs as well.

10. What is always at the back of your mind? : I’m always thinking of how I can be more effective in my blogging style and how I can interact with my social media followers to increase their trust in me. I also think about my family a lot. I’m originally from Georgia and the majority of my family is still in the south. While I’m grateful for the chosen family I’ve developed in New York City, there’s nothing like being with the people who make you…you. I try to go home as often as I can.

11. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? : The biggest change I am making in my career is getting everything in place to fully transition into full-time consulting.

12. What advice do you have for others? : One biggest piece of advice I have comes from a song called “Open Your Eyes (You Can Fly)” by Vanessa Williams and Me’shell Ndegeocello . The lyrics are “You can’t wait for others to applaud what you do. So just congratulate yourself and start something new.” Receiving recognition is always nice, but when we rely heavily on it to the point where it affects our sense of self, it can become problematic. We should also be striving to grow better and to strive higher, and to help others along the way.

13. How do you motivate yourself?: I motivate myself by surrounding myself with friends and family that love me for me. I also create communities that are reflective of who I am as a personal and professional.. Since I am a social worker, activist, and college/graduate school graduate, I try to keep strong ties with people I’ve met that fall into these communities for me.

14. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?: The biggest obstacle I’ve ever faced (and continue to face) are the self-defeating thoughts and negative self-talk. Perception is reality, and how you feel about yourself ultimately manifest itself into your surroundings, how you interact with others, and how they respond to you.

15. Where can we find you on the web? You can find me at my website, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.


Eyes Circa 2008

Here is another post I did in 2008 sometime…

When I look into your eyes, what do I see?

I see sadness of hurt from your past relationships;

I also see longing, in your eyes you wanting to love me

But not knowing how

 or wanting to get hurt;

But at times you see the same pain in my eyes,

Only I will not allow you to get close.

My heart is wounded; it just needs a little time to heal;

From all of the disappointment and frustration

Of needing and wanting to be loved,

But not knowing how to ask or receive it