Correction of Self ?

DISCLAIMER: I don’t claim to know everything and I don’t claim to be an expert. I am however someone who used to hate looking at myself in the mirror, I used to hate what everything about me looked like. I used to tell myself I wanted to just die. Below are TWO exercises that I DID for myself to get out of the rut and negative place that I was in. These exercises may not work for YOU. You have to get into the habit of finding out about YOU and how YOU will respond to retraining your mind to be positive.

 

Exercise 1:

It is important to be honest with yourself; you have to answer to your eyes and God (if you believe or if you believe in something else). Write out things that you fear then write out why, and then steps that you will take to get rid of your fear. Being fearful holds you stagnant in your growth and makes you comfortable. You never want to be okay with not changing and facing fears. You have to learn to overcome your fears. Lying allows you to not change. If you really sit down and figure out what bothers and scares you, life will become better.

Exercise 2:

Everyday for thirty minutes write down something that you feel you need to change about yourself, why, and how you plan to make these changes. There needs to be at least four steps on how you plan to make these changes in your life.

 

 


Two Men..

[youtube=http://youtu.be/V92tbalSTm0]

 

I came across this video on my twitter feed and I first read the comments on the blog post which were good and bad then watched the video for myself.

One, FABULOUS!

Second, the song playing is the song I want to walk down the aisle to.

Third, where can I find these men so that they can help me plan my wedding?

Four, as the words say, “IF THIS ISN’T LOVE THEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS”!!!!!!

I really do not understand the problem individuals have with two people of the same sex getting married.  Everyone wants to bring God into the equation, well first God is the first one to say do not judge, so you are disobeying him all together. I understand everyone will not agree with me and others who are attracted to the same sex but what harm is it doing you?  Just like in heterosexual relationships you all are not having sex 24/7, the same goes for homosexual relationships. Are relationships have substance and we have dreams of taking over in our perspective careers as well.  Stop trying to control feelings and emotions that are not going to go anywhere…

This is for you, YOU who feel the need to preach to homosexuals myself included every chance you get…


Self-Of-Steem: Natural Hair

I have been natural for almost seven years now.. AGAIN.. I was raised with out a relaxer and getting my hair pressed in high school. I was a cheerleader and my hair would always sweat out and would never move the way my counterparts hair moved in the wind because it was fully of pressing grease. After begging and begging and more begging my  grandmother agreed to let me get a relaxer .

My hair was never the same.

It wasn’t growing the way it was prior to the relaxer, but oh it sure was moving in the wind and it was moving right on out of my scalp when combed. I regretted getting a relaxer but I COULD not let my granny at the time know that she was correct. I was in the “good hair” crowd because my hair was not curling up anymore when I got rained on during games.. It was still straight.. stringy but straight. I started experimenting with hair color and my hair still was falling right on out,but being the low self-of-steem young teen I was I ignored it and kept saying well it will grow back….

When to college and cut all my hair off to the 2004 “Fantasia” cut, because it was falling out anyway.. Loved that style but grew it out…and got tired of getting my scalp severely burned every time I had to get a “touch up” before you say, well were you doing it right, I was going to the hair salon… I talked to my aunt who had been natural for as long as I could remember and asked her what to do. She stated, get some braids and let your hair grow out, I said okay and went to my hair stylist the next day and simply said, cut it off.

When I first went natural in January of 2006, I cut all my hair off and had a fade..

I liked my small fro, my unruly tightly coiled hair I really did!

Until…..

I let others comments get to me..

Comments like:

“Ugh, why did you cut allllll of your hair off?”

“Wellllll, you way were prettier with straight hair”.

“You should put another relaxer in your hair so it can be longer”.

“Well, why is your hair so nappy”?

“You ain’t gonna never get nobody with that head fully of nappy hair”!

“Just look at this girl, hey you nappy child”.

So I got really self conscious and started to let it mess with my thoughts about myself and started thinking, well they are correct, I was prettier with straight hair. Felling defeated and ugly…on my birthday October 2006, I got a relaxer.

The newness of the relaxer lasted all of 24 hours before I started regretting getting another relaxer and letting others comments decide for me how I felt about myself and my hair. I wrote a pact to myself at that time that, never again would I let someone elses insecurities and comments define who I am and what I do to myself. I also did not get another relaxer and grew my hair out this time which is called transitioning.. I was patient with my two different of textures for about seven months which my hair grew tremendously, but I wanted all of the straight pieces gone, so I did the ‘big chop”. Every since that mishap with my self- of- steem I have not been worried nor cared what others think about me.

I work in a more conservative environment and for the first three months I was self conscious of wearing my hair out because I work predominantly with men who are my clients and I did/do not like the stares that they give me.. However, I can only be me so slowly but surely I started wearing my hair out all the way, while the women I work (co-workers) with love it my clients HATE it.  BINGO.. If I would have known that wearing my hair out would make the stares and attention go away, I would have started off with my hair out.

I do not let anyone tell me how I should look or what I should do to my hair… That’s no one’s decision and if my self-of-steem was still low I would always think twice about what I do..

How is your self-of-steem?

Are you letting others who are not comfortable with themselves dictate how you feel about yourself?

If so, why?

If, so STOP… STOP NOW.


Dating vs. Family

Dating vs. Family

You vs. Dating vs. Family

Person you’re dating vs. Family

Heterosexual Dating vs. Homosexual Dating

Heterosexual Family vs. Dating vs. Homosexual Family vs. Dating

 

Either way, two different upbringings coming together will often have issues to work through because not everyone is raised the same! There are differences, actions, ideas, beliefs etc. that some people are not willing to accept… Who says that your family must accept the person you’re dating? Who says that the person you’re dating must accept your family? Is that an unspoken rule? Is that mutual respect? Then what happens if neither parties wants to do the latter?  Is one person just stuck with having to chose between family and the person that they are dating?

 
What insight do you have on dating that you can give?


Meet Brittany Polk!

Name and Location

Britany Polk

1.    What is your passion in life?

My passion is to be a successful creative director/designer/stylist lol.  I love helping people, especially when it involves clothing and accessory choices.

2.    What is your current job?

I currently work as an accounting assistant in a law firm.  This by no means is my career.  It’s that “I needed a job out of college and this is what I came up with” instance.  I received my Masters in Integrated Marketing Communications and am looking to utilize that degree in the creative field.  So now I am on a serious job hunt (anyone in the Chicago area can definitely forward me any job openings if you hear of anything lol).

3.    Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? 

I did take a leap of faith and launched my own business called Luxcheri, pronounced “luxury” with Cheri being my middle name.   Right now it is a compilation of handmade jewelry and accessories along with vintage jewelry.  I plan to add my own clothing line and reconstructed/thrifted vintage clothing, but I am starting small first in order to build a solid customer base.  The mission is to provide unique options for anyone’s styling needs, whether it’s with jewelry or clothing.  I am all about one-of-a-kind pieces because it allows people to express their personal style without being cookie cutter.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business?

I have what you call kakorrhaphiophobia, fear of failing.  I know I am not the only one.  Sometimes, that gets the best of my and like in so many past projects, I would just give up.  But this time, I am like, what the heck, if I fail, at least I tried and I can always try again until I succeed.  After all success is nothing without failure.  So this time in my endeavors, I am really pushing myself to go beyond the limits and just produce things that I like and stick with it, good or bad.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business?

Yes!! I always get this feeling that people will not like what I produce and that scares me.  Often times, I hold back more in those instances rather than just letting it be.  I put a lot of time, energy, and thought into the pieces I create, so just like anyone else, I always want to hear good feedback.  But I have realized everyone rocks to the rhythm of their own drum, so I have to understand some people will like it and some people won’t.  I just make sure I go hard for those who do like it.

6.    Describe your brand in one word.

Powerful

7.    Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them?

I have failed many times, so it’s hard to pick just one instance, but if I had to pick one, it would be not going for my dream in the beginning.  What I mean by that is, I wish I would have followed my heart when deciding on college.  Don’t get me wrong, college is and has been very great to me, but I just wish I would have went to fashion school instead of the traditional college.  I let people get into my head saying it’s going to be hard, not enough money, blah, blah, blah.  If I had followed my own heart, I think I would have been better off.  So I would consider that a failure, not following my own heart.  But now I try to listen to my gut instincts and just go for what I like instead of letting others persuade me.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?

Urban professionals are my target consumer.  I don’t think I would change this.  I think urban professionals have a lot of purchasing power, which is a very good thing.

9.    What inspires you?

This is a hard question because it is literally everything from color to art or even random people on the bus or walking down the street as I go to work.  I love looking at things and picking them apart to see what else it can become.

10. Who inspires you?

I have a few people who inspire me.

My mom – for her creativity and sense of style.  I learned a lot from her.

My pooh Felix – for his motivation, drive, and positive reinforcement that actually helped me jump start my business.

Aunt Bonita – the most outgoing and creative woman you’ll ever meet. She keeps it real all the time and she’s herself without any regrets.

Andrea aka Peachie – She is a very influential and inspirational person in my life as she is a young entrepreneur who has really been a mentor to me in helping me start my journey.

11. What is always at the back of your mind?

I am always trying to figure out what’s next and how can I make it unique.  Everyone and their momma create jewelry or clothing to some capacity and what I don’t ever want to do is copy or mimic someone else.  I always want it to be a reflection of me.  I have found that hard as some of the bracelets I create are similar to other designers, and that is one of the main reasons I decided to expand outside of that.  I like things to be my own.  Of course if my customers ask for something, I make it happen, but I always try to put my own twist on things.

12. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? 

The monotony.  I like to be moving around, not stuck at a desk entering in data all day, and that’s pretty much what I do.  It becomes very hard on some days when there is absolutely nothing to do.  I want a job that I actually look forward to going to everyday.  But as of now, I have to be thankful that I have a job.

13. What advice do you have for others?

Go for what you know and what you like.  Once you get that mindset, nothing can really stop you at that point.

14. How do you motivate yourself?

I look at my current situation and ask myself is this what I want to be doing in the next 5, 10, 15 years and then I kick it into high tail gear and start sketching and creating.  I want to enjoy my life, not be a negative Nancy about why nothing is going right.  You have to enjoy life.

15. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?

I think during this whole process, I have had to become more talkative.  I tend to be a tad quiet and very modest/shy when it comes to projects I am working on or am a part of. It’s weird because a part of me does like the limelight, and then the other part is like, no it’s too much.  But I definitely have been coming out of my shell more and that’s pretty big for me.

16. Where can we find you on the web?

I am working on getting my website together as we speak. The launch  date was suppose to be on August 17th, an ode to my mother for her birthday, but there have been some technical difficulties that have come up. So I am planning to launch in a couple of weeks.  I at least hope to be running on August 31.

Website: www.shopluxcheri.com

Instagram: luxcheri

Twitter: @luxcheri

Blog: www.luxcheri.blogspot.com


Day 30:

Your highs and lows of this month:

Highs:

Spending time with and getting to know the real personality of my friend (let’s call her Hazel Eyes).

Coming to grips with my finances and TRULY working on getting them together.

Having insurance to handle doctor appointments and the such.

Applying to a Gender Studies Certificate Program which is the lead way to a PH.D program .

Getting a WONDERFUL recommendation from my supervisor at CHS when I thought/felt that she hadn’t noticed any of my growth since being hired.

Started therapy. Again.

Had my first ‘party’  strategically named “Javania’s Get Together and you know I made a hashtag.. LoL

Found out that I am having a new nephew!!!! 🙂

Figuring out and accepting my niche for my business.

Lows:

Seeing the actual number figure of said messed up financial issues.

Finding out that I failed the most important class of my Graduate Program and not getting my diploma until I retake.

Got VERY annoyed that my closest friends were not in attendance at said party.

Came to terms that I am in the position because I am not truly listening to what God is telling me.

 

As you can see I did not have many lows this month which is a blessing. I enjoyed doing this challenge and I really liked doing this particular post.  I will like to incorporate a HIGHS/LOWS post monthly so that I can see in writing that I am blessed beyond measure! (no matter how much I think I am not at times).  I am still working on getting the new site built, it’s actually almost done but I had some financial setbacks but no worries, it will be done soon and I cannot wait to reveal!! If you missed out on the challenge, have no worries you can start the 30 days whenever you want to.. Just click on the link below to get Sunny’s explanation 🙂

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


Day 29:

Goals for the next 30 days:

I always have goals lined up and sometimes I complete them and sometimes I don’t.  It just depends on how I am feeling.

A few of my goals for the month;

*Open up more to my friend

* Finish second Ebook

*Get mentally prepared for Fall Semester

*Finish application for Spring 2013 (will tell more later)

*Gain new insight on online marketing

*Find a new job

*Continue to become financially stable

 

What about your goals for the next 30 days?

 

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


Day 28:

Something that you miss:

 

Living in the Central West End of St. Louis (City)..

I was able to walk to the hot restaurants, walk to the dry cleaners, movies, desert places… You get the point.. I live in the city again just not close enough to the it spots that would enable me to walk…

However I love my apartment…just wish I could pick it up and place it closer to the funnnnnn stuff with out the price tag!!

 

My old apartment in the CWE when I was in the process of moving to South County…where I was miserable daily…

I moved to South City  when I left South County….

I am SOOOOO happy… much happier.. 🙂


One Year Ago..

This day last year I was hosting my first event…

I was a nervous wreck, and nothing went as I had planned.

But….I learned a very important lesson that day…

SHIT HAPPENS..

Even when you have your whole day planned.

AND IT’S OKAY. It’s how you react to things not going the way planned.

I spent my savings to host this event and sold one ticket. I still have that invoice posted on my cork board because that one ticket meant alot to me. More than the person who bought it knows. I know what my passion is and I have to diligently follow through. I have not had another event simply because I have not had the extra money to do so.

However, I have come up with some ways to have events by saving money and I am definitely working on things for 2013. The rest of 2012 will be spent with me getting all of my goals written down and planned for the next year so I can start off the right way. Being an entrepreneur is all about learning and making mistakes but not continuing to make the same mistakes. I know that I have made alot of mistakes, mostly monetary which is why I am okay with taking my time now. Rushing will get me nowhere, and I have proof!!

Where were you this time last year and what was going on in your life?

 

One step down memory lane: