Day 19:

Disrespecting your parents:

I have a thing for people who are disrespectful because I didn’t have my parents growing up. My mother and father had mental illness that prevented them from being able to raise me.  Of course I had my spell of disrespecting my grandmother..and I have and felt bad for this and I’ve apologized for it… I think and feel that disrespect should be nonexistent because our parents sacrifice so much for us and they deserve nothing but respect.

 

What about you? What is your take on disrespecting parents.

 

Want to find out more about the challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts.


FREE Ebook “Hey YOU”

I have been toying with the idea of writing E-Books for the past year, and I am please to announce that my first one is here. “HEY YOU”…… It’s a spin off of my journals that I made for the attendees who came to my event last August…. If you want a Copy email me and I will send to you with in 10 hours (I say with in ten hours because I am not able to have my phone at work and won’t get my emails until I get off at 8p)

Email to get my free e-book:  javaniamwebb@gmail.com

 

 


Day 9:

Something that you are proud of:
Graduating with now my Master’s Degree.

I was born addicted to Crack and was told by many individuals that I was never going to amount to anything.. God is the final sayer over what I will not and can not do and he has NEVER told me that I can no do anything. He is the guidance and helps us seek what we want to do. All you have to do is sit still and listen.

 

What about you? What is something that you are proud of?

 

Want to find out more about the blog challenge? Check out Spoken Words & Thoughts


Being True to Who YOU Are

Since I’ve been blogging one thing has been consistent… the same… Doing the best I can to be and embrace who I am, not what others feel what or who I should be.

My second workshop title was “Embracing Who You Are”

We talked about getting and becoming comfortable with yourself. If you feel that you have to hide the real you then whats the real issue? I am real good about expressing my views and who I am with friends and strangers…but when it comes to family, I get all quiet tuck my tail and walk away from the issue.. I can no longer continue to do so. I also should not feel like I have to continue to fight with and defend who I am to ANYONE… I am growing and coming into my own.. This topic can transfer to many topics and different relationships.

Communication is important but is difficult…. if you have not been taught how to properly communicate…

PLEASE don’t take that as you do not learn. make sure if you do not know how to communicate, you take that in strides and learn…

If you feel like you cannot be yourself around people, or feel that you have to explain you to others stop and look inside to figure out why.  Once grown, you don’t have to answer to anyone… Remember that!

How do you deal with being your true self no matter what?

Jessie J singing Who YOU ARE acoustic ….a  song that I LOVE soooooo much… Listen to the words. Please..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgMD6btCP1M]


Black Sheep

When you are born into a family….and mostly everyone is normal.. Normal being Heterosexual in my case, it’s hard being the outcast..

Let me explain…..

I am a proud lesbian, my family feels I am in a phase.. Well let’s just say I have outgrown the phase age stage in my life… The moment I came out of the closet I broke free and have been trying to defend who I was ever since.

Why am I constantly defending who I am though?

This is a question I cannot answer because I have a need to want to be loved.. Loved from my family. I care what my family thinks of me, not people who don’t give two shits nor know who I truly am (let’s get this common miscommunication clear) I think I care so much because my aunts and uncles helped raise me where my mother and father fell short and then when my mother died they stepped in even more. So there’s a different dynamic relationship here…..

However, I have to and must follow the same advice that I give my clients who are dealing with or have dealt with the same issues.

Its simple…

God did not make any mistakes with me.

I am who I am.

I will not change who I am for my family.

I will not hide who I am.

I am in love with Javania.

I will not continue to defend my attraction.

I therefore will not longer feel as if I am the Black Sheep in my family.

 

 

Have you ever felt like the oddball in your family? Share your story below.


Five Love Lanuages…

SINGLES EDITION

(this photo is not the singles edition cover, photo is taken from personal IPhone and the book was paid for by me)

My sis is reading the edition that Gary Chapman intended to be for women and men who are married or engaged to get married..but it seems that single people wanted something to help them in the love department as welllllll…….. When she advised me to get the copy I immediately took offense because I thought she had jokes.. But I am actually glad that she told me about it. I just started this book and I am loving reading every minute of it.. (This is the first book that I am reading on my IPad and it’s not bad)

The premise of the book is for you to fully know your love language before you can know someone else’s love language and that it is okay if your languages do not match, but you have to be willing to fulfill your partners language. Of course the examples are for heterosexual couples, but I do not think that this book excludes homosexual couples. (this is just my opinion, if you know of a book that talks about love and it’s strictly for homosexuals let me know in the comments)

I haven’t gotten to the part where he explains the different languages of love but I am looking forward to finding that out! I will update when I figure out.. 🙂


Love.. What?

Who reading this can raise their hand (don’t worry, I can’t see if you do 🙂 )and say that they automatically knew how to love OR truly knew what love was..

I am in my 20’s and I thought I knew what love was, thought I was madly in love more than once, but in reality I think I was in like and lust…

Which leaves me scratching my head confused as heck..

When asking friends and talking to family about love, the most common response I get is “stop looking and thinking about it and it will come” …

Which in my opinion is harder to say than do when you see it all over and in your face daily… I will say that I am a little envious of my close friends that have love because that is something I want…..But to be honest I really don’t know if I would know if love slapped me in my face because it usually does not come wrapped up in a pretty little bow like we are programmed to think while growing up…

So like my family and friend say, I am going to stop thinking about it…It being love…

 

Please Share below….

🙂


LGBTQ LOVE: Dawn Johnson

Name and Location Dawn Johnson – Los Angeles, California

  • How old were you when you “came out”? I was 31 when I came out publicly, 20 when I initially told my dad
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? I was 15 years old
  • How did your family react? My family has been very supportive of my lifestyle choices.
  • Do you label yourself? I label myself in private but not in public i.e., I know I’m an Aggressive Femme and not a stud or a regular femme.
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? The misconception I would want to get rid of is that all people in the LGBTQ are dysfunctional due to being abused or hurt by the opposite sex.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? I think we can help the LGBTQ Youth by being examples of what healthy LGBTQ adults look like.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? I think I was born with the attraction to women, however was raised to believe that I should be with a man.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing?  I feel there are people who bash homosexuality from the religious sector who are only doing so because they are hiding their fear of being “outed”.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ?  I’m pregnant and plan to teach my children about all aspects of love so they can understand that there is no right and wrong if the love is real and pure.
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? I choose my experiences and teach from the lessons I learn.

Pariah Review

Saint Louis finally got the movie… a couple of friends and I went on opening day… Not many people were there, I’ll say a good 20 people…… that’s pushing it. Of course there were more white people than African American… this is a movie that I feel everyone should see no matter your sexual orientation, however, I do feel that LBGTQ’s needs to see it more….These words are my opinions, please go watch the movie for yourself to get a better understanding.

Pariah:

http://focusfeatures.com/pariah/photos

Alike–played by Adepero Oduye, a young African American woman, senior year of high school, and apart of a family that is full of silent dysfunction.

Which starts with her parents.

Mother Audrey—played by Kim Wayans is overbearing and controlling.

Father Arthur—played by Charles Parnell non-existent because he does not want to be with mother. He’s a police officer and uses that to his advantage, and is never home.

Alike’s younger sister Sharonda—played by Sahra Melesse is the “prodigal” child according to her mother.. she happens to love being a “girl” …

Alike is identifying to be more masculine.

Alikes close friend, Laura—played by Pernell Walker a stud… who is in love with Alike but refuses to tell her (I was able to sense some liking from the first interaction).

Alike’s mother Audrey does not like Laura because she feels that she is influencing her in a negative way.  Audrey is odd, she has issues communicating, in a scene while she was at work on lunch, she is very uncomfortable being around people.  I believe it’s because of low and lack of self-esteem that she never handled from the past, plus having to deal with her husband cheating but not wanting to divorce, add that with her two children being aggravated with her.

Alike mother forces her to become friends with one of her co-workers daughter Bina—played by Aasha Davis, Audrey thinks Bina will have a “positive” influence on Alike… Bina however, is a wild child.  So much so that Bina ends up being Alike’s first and breaking her heart, because she just wanted to chill and have sex.  Even though Alike’s feelings were hurt, that moment was all of the confirmation that she needed.  She knew from that first kiss that the feelings she’d been having were indeed real.

Alike acknowledged that she was a lesbian.  She found her voice.

Her mother proceeds to beat her, Alike packs up some clothes and goes to stay with Laura.  Audrey goes on with life as if nothing happened and the next scene while they are eating dinner Sharonda mentions to her father that he needs to go find Alike.  Alike finds out that she can graduate high school early, and asks her father to sign the paperwork.  Alike goes to her mother’s job to tell her she loved her and to let her know of her plans, Audrey acts as if she is not there, and tells her she will pray for her then walks away.  Alike moves across country to attend a prestigious college writing program..

This film hits on many issues in the African American family..acting as if everything is alright when deep down you know it’s not. Numerous stereotypes are throughout this movie. Some of the stereotypes maybe true for some, but false for others. The point is light being shown on the issues in our families. Homosexuality is not a disease and I do not feel that it is wrong.  God made me and I know for a fact that he did not make any mistakes when he designed me. I know that the family issues when it comes to acknowledging your child is “different” and not going the way you want them to go are in my family. I have talked openly about how my family has responded to me coming out, although I have not been disowned, they have moments when the words they let come out of their mouth equate to diarrhea.  I have no control over that so I continue to live my life.. As it would be pleasing to God, not man.

Website link again… http://focusfeatures.com/pariah


LGBT LOVE: Danielle Pope


  • Name and Location – My name is Danielle Pope, I am 23 years old and a current resident of Virginia Beach, VA
  • How old were you when you “came out”? – I didn’t officially come out to my family until my junior year in high school, so I was 16/17 years old…Even though my attraction was exceedingly obvious at such a youthful age.
  • How old were you when you knew that you were attracted to the same sex? – At only 8 years old
  • How did your family react? – Oh Man! You would have thought the world was going to end. I have had my family tell me I am doomed to hell. My father had a strong disgust with my sexuality …  and still does till this very day. My grandparents suggest I seek a psychiatrist for my “issue”. My newly reformed mother doesn’t understand it … but at least she accepts it. As far as my sexuality and my family goes, I can only really confide in my sisters and my younger brother-they love me for me.
  • Do you label yourself? – Yes, I label myself confidently as a lesbian. No, I don’t believe that labels make the person because there are deeper treasures to me than just to be defined and enclosed to my sexuality. I do believe that in whatever you are or whatever you do … HAVE CONFIDENCE and have NO shame!
  • What is one misconception about the LBGTQ “Lifestyle” that you want to get rid of? – That gay people are supposed to look a certain way. It makes me cringe when people comment and infamously say “you’re too pretty to be gay”.
  • How can you help the LGBTQ Youth? – By being an inspiration by sharing my stories and my struggles. Showing them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Do you think that you were born gay? – Yes, he made me this way and it was without mistake.
  • How do you feel about religion being the basis of homosexuality bashing? – So many of these so-called and self titled Christians shed hate, judgment and cruelty on our lifestyles. I don’t understand how a place that is suppose to accept and love anyone can be so cold hearted and evil? It is sad, because we are children of God. Religion is a touchy topic…many feel that if they aren’t living right or up to specific standards that they are automatically sentenced to hell. What makes these people so much better than anyone in the LGBTQ community and gives anyone the right to ridicule our lives? God is the only judge.
  • Do you have children? If yes, how do you “successfully” parent being LGBTQ? – No, I don’t have any children. I plan on having some in the future!
  • How do you make sure that you are being positive? – I find joy in the little things life has to offer. As long as I have peace within myself, living life to the best of its ability, putting a smile on the faces of people that I love and uplifting others … then there’s no question in my positivity.
  • Where can we find you on the web? — You can find me along with my written articles on DMVculture.com (please check it out and support). Also, on Facebook- Danielle Pope Twitter-@culturalFEM and Instagram-@yourfavoritelesbian