Do YOU need HELP?

For Suicidal Thoughts or Actions?

Do you know someone who has made suicidal comments recently or in the past?

If so please take the time out to read this post and HELP…..

                                                                                                  Image Source

As someone who tried to commit suicide to end the pain I was going through at the time (I thank God daily that  I did not succeed), I always want to help others who are feeling suicidal. I work at a crisis call center for individuals who are suicidal or homicidal. I go out into the community to prevent suicides.  At times it does not always work.  They are too far depressed or was not able to get help sooner.

If you know someone who has said anything to you Suicidal please call the hotline number 1-800-273-8255 to get them some help even if they protest. Suicide is nothing to make light of..

If someone is coming to you saying “odd” things or acting “odd” it is usually a cry for help. Don’t let that cry go unheard. Some individuals don’t want to come out and say the words be it embarrassment or shame. I know that if my college roommate hadn’t walked in when she did, life would be different for me. I never went to my friends and said that I wanted to commit suicide… I was “all smiles and jokes” hurting and rotting on the inside…

If YOU reading this is going through hard times and you want to commit suicide to end the pain I BEG you to try to get help first and know that whatever you are going through right now will get better. You have to work at it and be patient. Please call that hotline number, it’s 24/7 so someone will be there to talk to you any time of the day.

Remember someone loves you. And that someone should start with YOU.

 

Here are some links that you can read to get familiar with suicide:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://healthmad.com/mental-health/myth-and-facts-about-suicide/

http://suicidehotlines.com/

http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

That Suicidal Hotline Number again is 1-800-273-8255


Meet Nicole Clark

Name and Location: Nicole Clark, New York City

1. What is your passion in life? : My passion centers around educating, including, affirming, and empowering women of color (women who identify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous) to becoming change agents in their lives around sexual and reproductive health. I work to make sure that women of color have equal access to medically accurate throughout the spectrums of sexual and reproductive wellness.
2. What is your current job? : I currently work as a social worker at a national advocacy organization that serves people affected with and by HIV/AIDS and homelessness.

3. Do you own your own business? If so, what is the name and the mission? : I recently began my consulting business called Nicole Clark Consulting, where my mission is “Infusing Passion & Creativity to Improve the Health and Lives of Women & Girls of Color”. I share my experiences and expertise on sexual health, reproductive justice, advocacy, images of women of color in the media, street harassment, HIV prevention, community organizing, gender-based violence, and self care.

4. Did you have any fears when first starting your business? : My initial fear was wondering if I had anything to add to this particular field of activism, followed by if I could ever fully get to the point where I can make a substantial living writing, consulting, and speaking on these issues.

5. Did you have any insecurities when first starting your own business? : As I got more into my blogging and started back conducting workshops and speaking engagements (I took some time off between 2008-2010 to attend graduate school for social work), I started to worry more about my personal brand and how I can strategically set myself apart from others in order to generate better opportunities.

6. Describe your brand in one word. : Empowerment

7. Do you have any past failures that you can tell what you did to learn from them? : I haven’t been in my consulting business for very long, so I don’t have any marked failures yet. I guess one ongoing problem I have is over-extending myself and taking on too many opportunities, which has led to burn-out on occasion. Also, trying to balance my 9-5 with my consulting business is always a challenge.

8. Who are your target consumers? Would you want to change this?: My target audience is women and girls who indentify as Black, Latina, Asian/Pacific Islander, and American Indian/Indigenous.

9. Who inspires you? : I often get inspiration from women of color who have decided to live life on their own terms. On my blog, I’ve created the Women Making Moves! series, where I interview women of color in various fields who have found passion in their lives and work. I initially began the series as a way to encourage myself, but I’ve found from many of my readers that the interview series is a favorite of theirs as well.

10. What is always at the back of your mind? : I’m always thinking of how I can be more effective in my blogging style and how I can interact with my social media followers to increase their trust in me. I also think about my family a lot. I’m originally from Georgia and the majority of my family is still in the south. While I’m grateful for the chosen family I’ve developed in New York City, there’s nothing like being with the people who make you…you. I try to go home as often as I can.

11. What do you want to change about your job or career right now? : The biggest change I am making in my career is getting everything in place to fully transition into full-time consulting.

12. What advice do you have for others? : One biggest piece of advice I have comes from a song called “Open Your Eyes (You Can Fly)” by Vanessa Williams and Me’shell Ndegeocello . The lyrics are “You can’t wait for others to applaud what you do. So just congratulate yourself and start something new.” Receiving recognition is always nice, but when we rely heavily on it to the point where it affects our sense of self, it can become problematic. We should also be striving to grow better and to strive higher, and to help others along the way.

13. How do you motivate yourself?: I motivate myself by surrounding myself with friends and family that love me for me. I also create communities that are reflective of who I am as a personal and professional.. Since I am a social worker, activist, and college/graduate school graduate, I try to keep strong ties with people I’ve met that fall into these communities for me.

14. Did you have any obstacles that you overcame to get to where you are now?: The biggest obstacle I’ve ever faced (and continue to face) are the self-defeating thoughts and negative self-talk. Perception is reality, and how you feel about yourself ultimately manifest itself into your surroundings, how you interact with others, and how they respond to you.

15. Where can we find you on the web? You can find me at my website, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.


Me, Myself, and I Circa 2005

Here is a paper I did Spring 2005… My second semester in college….. I was 19 and angry at the world.. The growth that I have done is AMAZING…

“Every year I ask myself, what do I want to change about me? It is always the same statement: I want to change my bad ass attitude.  It never fails; I will be nice or try   to act nice for about a good week; then I will back to my old ways giving any and everybody attitude.  So this year I made more than one New Year’s Resolution so I could at lease accomplish one.  The first one is of course to change my attitude, but that one can wait a while because my second one is to get off of academic probation.  This one will be the most challenging one because I messed up so early and I have a low grade point average.  I played around last semester and this is where I ended up feeling low and stupid and I will work harder than ever this semester so that I can earn a 3.0 grade point average and get out of the gutter.  I have to do this for me because I am the one who is suffering. I am the one who got me into this and I have to be the one to get myself out of it.

The first resolution will always be hard for me because people do not know what other people go through from day to day and when people jump to conclusions or say blurt things out it upsets me.  I am one of those girls that many always hear about with the bad attitude problem.  I have a major one and it will not be a good idea to get on my bad side because it will be over then.  When I try to be nice, it does not work.  I feel as if I am being phony, so I go back to the way I was, or stop trying to be nice.  Hopefully I will change for the better because I do not want the reputation of being “The Bitch”, but I also do not want the reputation of the soft girl that take anything.  Many say I will die from a heart attack and I do not want that; so maybe if I go to some anger management classes I will have a much better attitude.  I am the biggest baby on earth, but have the saddest attitude.  What kind of combination is that?

My second and most important New Year’s Resolution will be easy to achieve if I just sit down and focus for once in my life.  When I want something badly, I get it and I want so badly to get off of academic probation so all I have to do is do it and stop talking about it.  I am going to accomplish this by earning a 3.0 grade point average in all of my classes.  Studying is the big priority for me because I do not know how to study.  I never had to study until last semester and I see where that got me.  Going to tutoring whenever I need help will be hard for me.  My pride and ego is the cause of this. I am too big headed and need to know that it is okay to not understand a certain subject and not being ashamed to show it or tell.

My grades never struggled in high school the way they did last semester and it is very embarrassing to have to take a class over with the same teacher knowing that I slacked in her class.  Making this 3.0 grade point average will benefit my life so much because I will not be on academic probation anymore. I will be able to transfer if I still desire to do so next year.  Also, I will feel good about myself knowing I set a goal and achieved it, and it was dealing with school, and I did it with out a problem.  A person may not have any flaws on the outside.  They might not be visible, but that does not mean that they do not have any problems at all.  This is me, I am so messed up on the inside, and I know what I have to do to change what is wrong.  I have to start with the most important problem right now.  My education and whatever else will have to come second.”


Pushing PAST the hurt

I am a very emotional person who trys to build walls up to protect me from unwanted hurt. People who have known me for a while can see beyond those walls and know when something is up with me. I have been down lately because I am about to be 26 years old (October 4) and feel as if I have done nothing.  (I mean I have done some THINGS but follow me before you throw my same talks back at me)

Growing up I always wanted to be married and have children (two to be exact) by 25. Well that won’t be happening anytime soon.

I have been looking for a full-time job since 2008…had a short stint as a foster care worker and got fired..

I do not have any savings.

I do not have the PUREST support of my family for my business endeavours.

I at times feel like I am going to fail.

I am in a graduate program I no longer want but will finish because I have just one more semester.

The talk of not having a job is a real sore subject for me especially since I have been applying for jobs that I am qualified for, but the issue I am having is that I really DON’T want to work for someone else.

I want to have some odd jobs where I work for someone else but my schedule will have to be put into the contract.  The point of this post is to tell you and myself to keep on pushing.  Your day will come!!  Keep working hard, and working on your dreams to get to where you are going. When you have a vision FOLLOW that vision even if you only have the support of God.  He will not fail you and just when you think he has forgotten about you things will have been turned around.

I may not be where I thought or feel I should be but I will be there soon.  Time out for the pitty sessions I have been giving because of others expectations on my life.  Yes times are hard, but they are not supposed to be easy. I love what I do and the progress shows. The phone calls are coming, the clients are coming, the business meetings are coming, and the speaking engagements are coming.

I know they are.

I know what I have to do to align myself to receive these abundant blessings God is going to be to showering on me soon.  The first is to STOP trying to live up to what someone one else wanted for my life. This is MY life and I have to act like it. No sense in crying over spoiled milk. Gonna wipe it up and keep on moving and trucking it along.

Thanks for reading, tell me how you push past living for YOU and no one else.